[Straight from the heart...]

For anyone out there who has tried to say the right things and only messed it up, this poem is for you. I know what it's like to want to tell someone every good, loving thing you have to say to them; yet it always seems easier to say things that end up hurting them or just the wrong things in general. I titled the poem "Filter" because i sometimes wish i had one to filter the things that are in my head and heart before i let them come out of my mouth. Let me know if my poem is something you can relate too, or just toss me some constructive comments. Thanks, guys!

Filter

I never say what I mean but I mean what I say

When I ask you to stay for just one more day

On the page of this book with that ominous look

Of mischief and disguise in those beautiful eyes

A picture is worth a thousand feelings

You tell me I should when you know I?m no good

At letting myself put this guise on the shelf

And pouring my heart from ending to start

Onto pavement, awaiting, the words I?m debating

I never could decide what to say

I?m so caught and tangled in what has been mangled

That I don?t seem to see what?s been given to me

A gentle heart to look over and protect from exposure

And all I ever do is suffocate you

Time and time again

I need time to show you all that I owe you

And there are risks that I take and so much at stake

When I let you walk away mad while I?m acting glad

But this painted on smile won?t last me a mile

If you aren?t the motor that keeps me running

I?m not happy when you?re gone but I know that it?s wrong

To ask so much in return when it?s always my only one that I burn

And I take everything out on you, though it?s not what I aim to do

I just want to make things right and be there at night

When the moon is not enough to help you fall asleep

So if my words weave a maze that goes on for days

Just remember that what I want you to hear isn?t always so clear

And no matter what I say I might not mean it that way

Because what I want to get out are the words ?You should never doubt?

That I love you above all and everything??

And this story has no happy ending cuz I?m no good at pretending

That I?m okay without you around, because I have found

That no matter what I do or what places I run to

I?ll always be just half of me

Without all of you

[Trying to Improve....]

I don't think this is one of my better works, but i am open to any opinions/suggestions. It always helps me to become a better writer! Thanks!

Up is Down

Let?s start this conversation off right

I?m not hunting for another fight

Despite this angry glare

I can?t deny that I still care

I?d argue with my shadow

Over things that don?t really matter

But I can?t seem to bring myself

To take the important stuff off the shelf

And explain to you what I really mean

So the truth has yet to be seen

This is no liar?s tale

But I?m not always honest

I?ll tell you yes when I mean no

When I need you to stay

I?ll say go

My up is down

And your sky is my ground

Listen to what I have to say

But think of it another way

Cuz this is no liar?s tale

But you know I never tell the truth

I dial your number, sometimes just to say hi

But once I hear your voice I don?t wanna say goodbye

And I go on with meaningless chat

About alot of this and a little of that

It?s just my way of stalling time

Til I find the guts to say what?s on my mind

But I never do

And I?m so hard on you

Though, I swear, I never mean to be

Don?t forget all the times I?ve said

That you were every thought inside my head

I may neglect to mention

That I suffer from this tension

That being apart from you has caused

And I know sometimes I just need to pause

Take the time out to just remember

That you really deserve so much better

Than what I have become for you

This is no liar?s tale

But I?m not always honest

I?ll tell you yes when I mean no

When I need you to stay

I?ll say go

My up is down

And your sky is my ground

Listen to what I have to say

But think of it another way

Cuz this is no liar?s tale

But you know I never tell the truth

Everything I used to say

I?ll say it in a different way

Just to keep your eyes on me

So you can finally see

You are my everything

And I promise not to slip up

I promise not to trip up

I don?t wanna screw up

Anymore

And though this is no liar?s tale

I?m not always honest

And I?ll say yes when I mean no

When I need you to stay

I?ll say go

But you should know

I never tell the truth

So please don?t give up on me

Just don?t give up on me

This time

[Inspired by Taking Back Sunday]

I started writing my songs and poems with more of a punk and Emo feel...here is the first one I wrote - in a very angry mood. My best stuff comes out when im pissed...go figure.

Take Off Your Sunglasses When You Talk to Me

Am I too much for you to handle?

Cuz you don?t look at me the same

I feel like a damaged box, a broken light bulb

Im not good enough anymore

Or so I?ve been told

By the voices in my head and the actions that you take

You make me feel like every word I?ve ever said

Has been a huge mistake

I let you run this town and my little world

Silly me, believing in you and what we had

I wish you had told me you were highly skilled

In twisting knives and telling lies

But I have my own talents

And they go as follows

I make an excellent doormat

And an even better dart board

So bring on the worst

Cuz I can handle it like a pro

And I?m so good at what I do

But I have to admit, not as good as you

Cuz?

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel this bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this mad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

You leave me hanging

And I hang myself for you

Holding on to everything you ever say

I give in to the way this makes me feel

I give you everything you never have to ask for

And you hold me up just to tear me apart

I spend all my time trying to adjust my heart

To make it beat in tune with your every promise

And you leave them all un-kept

Then blame me for our down-fall

So I must remind myself?

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel this bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this mad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

I?m the best at what I do, giving far to much to you

You stomp on me with your broken glass boots

But I?ll never cry ?uncle? and I?ll never ask for more

I?ll never ask for more than what you give

And you?ll never give me more than zero

So let me play the villain and someone else can be your hero

I love having my fifteen minutes of fame in your world

But my time always ends when your random knight rides in

You?ll say I hold you back and get in the way

I?m no longer the one that saves the day

And you tell me your life is formed around my feelings

That?s so funny, because you got me so convinced

I don?t deserve to have those on any subject, mostly you

So beat me up and bruise my face

Scold me for holding a grudge and throwing fits

And I?ll let you, Angel, ride off with your knight

Right over me and my broken heart, busted to bits

Can I just ask, I know you?ll want me to beg

Will you just finish me off?

And I?ll tell myself?.

I?m so good

At letting you make me feel bad

And I?m so good

At making myself this sad

I?m so good

At watching you walk away

I?m a regular Jack of All trades

But one thing you got me beat at

You?re so good, you?re so good

At letting me down and making me come back

I?m so [bleep] good at what I do

I?d sacrifice my life for you

But you never told me you were so highly skilled

At twisting knives and telling lies

Maybe someday you could teach me your ways

And I?ll try them out on you

Cuz [bleep] me over seems to be the latest craze

So twist the knife that ends my life

And tell the lies that drown my eyes

Cuz you know I?ll come back for more

I always come back for more

Just watch your back this time?.

[Losing sleep]

So I'm the new kid. I've been looking for a place to post my stuff. I write alot of poems and song lyrics...all personal stuff that somehow means something to me, as most songs do for most people. So here is y initiation piece...it's a poem called "Losing Sleep". Let me know what you think, por favor!

Losing Sleep ::

Have I ever said I loved you in a song

Well just wait, cuz it won?t be long

And I?ll take that step into forever

You?ll tell me that it?s now or never

Just don?t hold your breath

Because you know how I?m never on time

Who reads those scribbles on the walls

In all those dirty bathroom stalls

Well if my mind were those toilet doors

All of the graffiti messages would be yours

And they would be telling me to call you

Because you miss the way I make you laugh

I can?t ever crumple a paper without thinking

Maybe I?d say that line aloud If I were drinking

But I wonder why I wait for that

Those nights when I wear my drinking hat

And call you from a quiet corner

To say the things you should hear everyday

My mind never stops at night

Wondering if you?d ever fight

To know what it is that runs through it

When I have ten drinks and then take a hit

My answer would be so simple

But please don?t ask me to explain

The drive home is always too long

So I sing along to every song

Thinking of you with every chorus

Trying to recall what came before us

What was it like to be just me

Before I found my missing piece

Confidence never looked good on me

Stable is something I?ll never be

But you suit me just right

And even when we fight

I know you?re still the best part of me

And I?m good at what I do because of you

Don?t rush yourself into the future

That would make a tear that I can?t suture

But I promise I?ll let you go your own way

I?m just not ready to let you go today

Give me five more minutes, please

Of that precious time that?s no longer mine

Leave me something in your smile

To carry with me for just a while

Because I just can?t handle missing you

Without you here I haven?t got a clue

As to where my place should be

I?m just going through the motions

I guess I should say I love you in a song

Write the words down before I say them wrong

I?m just afraid it doesn?t matter anymore

And I can feel you turning towards the door

Maybe I can get it all out before you go

Just don?t make me promises you can?t keep

A broken heart full of scars and pain

Gets me more than any empty words can gain

And a bad taste in my mouth is so much better

Than watching you try to keep it all together

When you know you are only painting a picture

Of what you think I want to see

In the end I?ll think of this

And wonder what it is I really miss

Though my memories won?t get me very far

I?m willing to collect another scar

If it means bringing you back to me

There?s nothing I won?t try