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blind-fitter

To Die Now, Or Later?

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To Die Now, Or Later?

The rational man knows he is blessed,

Yet counting his blessings

Takes a matter of seconds.

No child has died,

No wife has fled,

No-one was fired,

Nothing was moved from its rightful place.

And yet....and yet....

He silently asks,

"Could somebody kill me,

Sparing me the responsibility?"

The weight of guilt too great

To pass to younger, more fragile shoulders

Must be borne patiently.

No gritted teeth,

No permanent scar,

No "unanswerables",

No unwanted legacy of shame.

The time will come: "the inevitable happened".

Being needed and loved, the imperative to remain,

Became a burden impossible to sustain.

To be cowardly or brave

Is the closest of shaves,

When that seductive bitch oblivion beckons.

If this beseeching voice

Whispers louder than his conscience,

If stronger men than he

In frailty have succumbed,

If the aftermath will not be his to face,

What chance he might sink without a trace?

Emerge he may, alive, yet moribund.

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I posted something here a long time ago with the same thing - the line I hated the most seemed to be the favorite of people who read it.

I like it because it doesn't necessarily fit with the other couplets, but it's effective in placement.

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I like the whole thing. I think the last stanza is the most well-written, and I like that the middle bit is the only one that seems to have some closure - "the inevitable happened" - as opposed to the more open-ended first and last stanzas.

It's definitely a bit of a downer (which is fine by me), but it doesn't feel like a typical "oh, woe is me" poem/lyric. The writing and construction are more advanced.

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Oh, it's a downer alright. :(

It's interesting that you comment on the variable quality of the writing between stanzas. I wrote the first stanza immediately upon my arrival at work this morning, prior to the team-meeting. The second I struggled on after the team-meeting, when I was supposed to be working. For the third I had the benefit of an extended lunch-break, which may account for its perceived superior quality.

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Not exactly so. I extended the lunch-break myself to accommodate finishing the piece. Then extended it a while longer to post it, then a while longer to await feedback. :P

No martinis, or alcoholic beverages of any description, were involved in the process.

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"Could somebody kill me,

Sparing me the responsibility?"

The weight of guilt too great

To pass to younger, more fragile shoulders

These are my favorite lines :thumbsup:

Well put together, B-F! I like it even though it's something pulled out of a dark place. I like the dark stuff, so maybe that's why this poem is cool to me. :grin:

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"To Die Now or Later"

The title alone was enough to intrigue my grasp of the concept which you set forth.

I could talk eons and a day, contemplating when there was a time; there was no such thing as light . . .

And then . . .

Someone said;

Let there be IT . . .

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