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Earth-Angel

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I overuse emoticons intentionally so people will get mad at me. :thumbdown: :crazy: :blush: :guitar: :stars: :help: :drummer: :happybanana: :doh: :googly: :coolio: ;) :shocked: :D :cool: :/ :confused: :thumbup: :guitar: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana:

:P

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2007 seems to be my year for nasty run-ins with other songfacters. Because of this, I feel I should clarify something about myself. I have Social Anxiety Disorder, which is an acute fear of people and social situations. This causes me to be uneasy around people, even on the internet. Having Social Anxiety Disorder means I take things too personally, that I'm too sensitive. I soak up other's emotions, primarily sadness and anger.

My life is one big defense mechanism. I will do whatever I can to prevent a panic attack. Imagine being confronted with your worst fear--heart pounding to near explosion, knees weak, breath shallow, mouth dry, ears full of white noise, time simultaneously speeding up and slowing down. I live with that every day, some times multiple times per day. I've had panic attacks as a result of being addressed unexpectedly. I've had panic attacks sitting at my desk doing nothing. I hate them, and I hate myself because of them. I don't think I will ever live a "normal" life. Panic attacks sometimes keep me from doing things most other people take for granted-shopping, eating at restaurants, going to movies. Panic attacks make me feel stupid. They make me feel like a freak. They make me feel misunderstood and hated.

I came to SF because I like music, and I don't have any one else in my life who loves music, from lyrics to trivia, like I do. I have made friends here, but I have also made enemies. I feel like SF has become like the rest of the world, just another place I don't belong.

I'm not posting this for sympathy or acceptance. I'm posting this because I think many people see me as some over emotional crazy b---- who gets p----d at the drop of a hat. I just wanted to clarify why some things hit me too personally. Take away from this whatever you will, be it nothing or just another reason to dislike me. I've said all I can say.

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And you know I love you Shannon... :grin:

I too will confess to SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder) but mine is slighty different for me. I'm not emotional and I take little to heart. I've spent my life smiling and hiding any emotion. I do fear people and social situations, however and I know all too well what panic attacks feel like. I know how you feel dear, but then again we get along :thumbsup:

Hopefully? :laughing:

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Shannon, my sweet friend, you are a delight. I love your sense of humor and I chuckle quite often. We all have our days, my mood as of late has sucked for the most part, due to my cold and some things here on SF, and if that makes someone get upset with me, oh well. I love you Shannon and hope you keep posting chickie!! You got me listening to your heart throb, you can't stop posting! :)

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Shannon, I understand you as well! How very odd. I share many of those same feelings! I don't go so far (thankfully) as the panic attacks, but I get so very anxious about social situations that I often just don't go, or involve myself in them. I call my problem more severe shyness, which is often thought to be stand-offishness. So often I just want to belong, and don't quite know how. That is why I treasure SF, 'cause it is a place I can belong!

You've got no problems from me, I love you too kiddo!! ;)

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Shannon you have a passion for music, just like the rest of us here and that's all you need to worry about...We enjoy having you here, and I know you enjoy sharing your passion for music with many many songfactors....don't let one or two get you down....We are here for ya girl!....stick with it, coz you love music just as much as we do..... :thumbsup:

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I don't go so far (thankfully) as the panic attacks, but I get so very anxious about social situations that I often just don't go, or involve myself in them. I call my problem more severe shyness, which is often thought to be stand-offishness. So often I just want to belong, and don't quite know how. That is why I treasure SF, 'cause it is a place I can belong!

maybe this is why we get along. :grin: I'm exactly this way when I'm in a situation where there's a crowd of people I don't know... like if I'm at a party and I only know one or two people, I sink into the wall.

When I was married, my ex was 1/2 owner of a corporation, and every year I had to be the corporate wife and do the big Christmas party thing. I was so inhibited that after the second year he told me all his employees thought I was just a b**** because I didn't go and introduce myself and make small talk with them. I was stuck up because I didn't mingle with them. Never my intention. I was just so intimidated I could barely move.

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