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Blue Fish

The Apple.

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Your so big and firm to touch

Your juices trickle down my chin

I lick the moisture from your skin

So juicy and moist to taste

My fingers are sticky from your juice

My lips are wet with sweet water

I suck the water from my fingers

So wet and hard to touch

The crunching as I bite your skin

The soft scrape of teeth on flesh

As I sink myself into your flesh

So soft and quite to hear

The water runs down your skin

The juices bleed slowly out

As I slowly run my fingers around

So round and bright to see

The smell of spring on your flesh

The sweet sticky smell of your juice

As I bring you up for a bite

So sweet and sticky to smell.

Still toying with the idea here, just need some comments on if it works or not?

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Bloof! :thumbsup: I like it! :grin:

Of course I had to remind myself of the title after each line... and a cold shower after each verse :wink:

You're awesome at describing physical senses! :rockon:

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Your so big and firm to touch

I'd be more impressed if the very first word were not grammatically incorrect. The same error as you repeatedly made in "Lemon Love": don't you pay any attention to our comments? ;):P

The smell of spring on your flesh

The sweet sticky smell of your juice

As I bring you up for a bite

So sweet and sticky to smell.

Still toying with the idea here, just need some comments on if it works or not?

Secondly: the erotic possibilities of fruit-eating is hardly a novelty and, contrary to what others have indicated, the use of obvious words such as big, firm, juicy, moist, lick, sticky, lips, suck, wet, hard, juices, smell, etc. is only briefly amusing. The word "sticky" occurs three times, "juicy/juices" four times, and "smell" you manage to fit in three times into one four-line verse!

I'd throw it away; I think you can do alot better.

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The crunching as I bite your skin

The soft scrape of teeth on flesh

As I sink myself into your flesh

So soft and quite to hear

Even though flesh is repeated here and quiet is misspelt, this is what eating an apple is about. I really like it. The second line is incredibly saucy... :grin:

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