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The Canadian Dating Game (Gone Bad)


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Judge orders man not to have girlfriend

PETERBOROUGH, Ontario - A judge has ruled that a 24-year-old Canadian man is not allowed to have a girlfriend for the next three years.

The ruling came after Steven Cranley pleaded guilty on Tuesday to several charges stemming from an assault on a former girlfriend.

Cranley, who has been diagnosed with a dependent personality disorder, attacked his girlfriend in an argument after their breakup.

He tried to prevent her from phoning the police by cutting her phone cord and punched and kicked her. He finally stabbed himself with a butcher knife when police did arrive, puncturing his aorta.

Doctors say Cranley has difficulty coping with rejection and runs a high risk to re-offend if he becomes involved in another intimate relationship.

Justice Rhys Morgan said Cranley "cannot form a romantic relationship of an intimate nature with a female person.

"That is the only way I can see the protection of the public is in place until you get the counseling you need."

Cranley had already served 146 days in pre-trail custody, which Morgan said was enough jail time in this case.

His lawyer says the no girlfriend order is the first of its kind that he has encountered.

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One exception is getting caught stealing someone's beer....in that case murder is acceptable and the death penalty does not apply.

:laughing: Any Canadian crazy enough to waste his time stealing American beer would at least be able to put up an insanity defence - or deserves to be shot just to put him out of his/her misery . ;)

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Roy Boy: How come you never see any black guys playing hockey?

Kabral: Now do you think it's easy to just gradually take over every professional sport? Let me tell you something, man. Brothers have started figuring out this ice thing. Hope you enjoyed it!

Boomer: I'll tell ya another thing: their beer sucks! (Riot at hockey game starts)

Roy Boy: I want to call the American embassy!

Boomer: All I said was "Canadian beer sucks!"

[riot intensifies]

Kabral: People! People! Can't we all just get along?

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Granted ... and t'was a low blow to take , matey , but bein' an honest man I'll grant you that . Rye is not for everone's a ' tastin' , and Crown Royal ( God bless it ) is likely our best .... you have the upper hand on that Bourbon - though rocket fuel it do taste . Let's call it a draw , or near's be ... as I prefer anything from the Scotland on this particular matter ... harr ! :)

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You tell 'em Kevin. Everyone knows that Bourbon and Canadian whisky are just glorified paint thinners. They're also very good at removing nail polish (at least that's what my wife tells me). Give me a single malt any old time.

As for generic Canadian or American beer (e.g. Coors, Canadian, Labatt's Blue or the world's worst beer Budweiser) they all taste like dirty dishwater. Give me a Big Rock Traditional or an Anchor Steam anyday. Hail to the microbrewery!

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