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Since this is a random thoughts forum, I figured this would be as good a place as any to reach out to people. I'm about to write ya'll a book. I just feel like I need someone to talk to about what's going on in my life. I'm basically alone now that my mom has decided to run away with this boyfriend of her's. And for all of you who haven't read this elsewhere, the man is my mom's ex boyfriend's new girlfriend's ex husband. :puppyeyes: Its so confusing trying to explain it to people. They've only been dating for two months and she's wanting to move in with the guy and get married. Personally, I think she only began dating him to get back at her old boyfriend but that's just me. Yes, I'm an adult now and I should be able to deal with this. But its just so hard. Since my dad passed in '99 its just been me and my mom and she's dragged me around everywhere with her since then. I put up with more BS than any person should have to. And now I just feel abandoned. I'm not ready for this. And she's forcing me into living alone and I'm not financially stable. She just told me an hour ago that she got fired from her job and has got two speeding tickets in the past week! The rent is due and my car note is due. I've got doctor bills from a passed surgery that I havent even been able to think about paying for yet. :stars: :doh: I just dont know what to do. Someone please talk some sense into me. Tell me what I should do. :confused: :(

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mollyjane, hon I am sorry for all the troubles you are going through at this time. Yes you may be an adult, but when a parent does something we don't agree with, it does upset you. It's strange that once we become the adult we want to protect them from bad decisions just as they did for us growing up. I don't have a perfect answer to your dilema.

I would suggest you talk to someone in the billing department for your medical bills. I know from experience you can get financial help if you are at a certain income level and with your Mom losing her job and leaving you, you would probably qualify. Her speeding tickets are her responsibility, not yours. As for your rent and car payments, it doesn't hurt to talk to the bank and landlord. You never know if you don't talk to them and explain your situation.

Tell you Mom your feelings, don't hold them in, but it may not change her mind on what she wants to do with this guy. But at least you have made her aware of your take on the situation. It will be her mistake to make, and unfortunately you can't keep a person from making a mistake, but you can be there for them when they need you.

I don't know if any of this has helped. I hope some of my thoughts did. I feel for someone when they are going through a rough time and I try to help the best I can. That is what life is about, giving and caring about others.

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Thank you very much, Sweet Jane, for trying to help me. Your kind words do mean alot to me. I'm going to take some of your advice with the money issues. However, I had it had it out with my mom yesterday when she got back from her week long vacation. Nothing I said made a difference. And I dont think it will.

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Jane is right about the money issues, you can have some help there. Now, I understand how you feel... you´re an adult but anyways, your mother is supposed to be an adult too... :P Maybe she´s just fed up with her life and very excited about the chance to start a new one... but you´re her only daughter and she´s not being loyal to you.

You´ll have to get yourself a job, in case you´re not studying. Or maybe ask for a scholarship then... I´m sorry for your troubles, we´re here if you need some tea and sympathy... :cool:

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Awww hun, no one should have that much pain in there life! I've been through a lot too, I can relate to your pain. (((hugs))) I don't know quite what you should do. but talking often helps. Maybe you should find a close friend and sit down over a coffee to unwind a bit, then you might be more clear headed to think of what you could do. It's just a suggestion. I'll be thinking of you.x

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Sweet MJ, I hate that you are having to go through so much at a time in your life when you should be happy and carefree. As someone who also had to put up with a lot from an irresponsible mother, I sympathize with your situation. It's easy to get caught up in trying to change or even help the person who is supposed to be the adult in the relationship. You have to realize that you can't change anybody but yourself. Even though it might suck right now, it might be good for you to be on your own and find out who you are. I know the money issue is difficult, but to me, being independent and having control over your own life is worth being in debt.

We're here anytime you need to talk, honey.

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I don't know what advice to give besides the wise words already expressed by Jane and Peaches. If you're not in school, sign up with an employment agency and/or a temp. agency. They can help find you good jobs where you can get some benefits.

If you're in college or not, try applying for a work/study program or a scholarship.

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thank you Peaches. and I already have a job as a clerk in a hospital. the wages arent too good but there are good benefits and whatnot. I want to go back to school but I have to work full time. But I'm going to be optimistic today and say that everything will be alright and we'll get by no matter what may happen. :happybanana: The banana always makes me happy too.

Once again, thanks to all who've shown caring and compassion.

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:doh: Nothing is ever going to get back to normal again. I may have to move in with my grandparents or something. I'm not liking it at all because I wont have any freedom. But oh well.. Its going to be alright eventually. :smirk:

Don't worry, you will get there eventually. Just believe that you can, and you will.

Don't worry, you'll get there, just believe that you can, and you will.

Martin Luther King

"Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that."

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wow, you´re lucky to have grand-parents with a house where you can live... :shades: When I was your age I wasn´t living with my parents anymore, I was even in another country, studying, working and very excited about life... which was a struggle, but very exciting yet.

There´s only one thing worse than having to pay the rent every month, and that is living at some other people´s house... Now you have a place to sleep, eat and shower, you can also find ways to live and work and be happy... so congrats for being young and free!! :thumbsup:

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