Sweet Jane 61 Posted May 23, 2007 Report Share Posted May 23, 2007 Love Is A Sacrifice Do you hear it, the breaking? Slowly, painfully; piece by piece. Do you feel it, the aching? Unbearable, unspeakable; moment by moment. Do you see it, the taking? Lifeless, emptiness; inch by inch. A heart, a soul, a love; all forsaking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 talk about pain... you nailed it. I feel it. This one tears me up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Wow! Magna cum laude. Enjoy your summer vacation. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted May 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Thanks Shawna and Ron, your comments always mean so much to me, I admire you both as writers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 I like it Jane : a realistic ( unfortunately ) take on love : felt by one but unrequited , or not in the same degree more often than not . I'd remove 'lifeless ' though , unless I'm not reading your feeling accurately , as most of what you've said is full of life . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Nice! i really like the feelings you've "penned down" here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Ouch... reading this brings up the worst memories and feelings, Jane... which means you did a great job with it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted May 24, 2007 Author Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 Thanks everyone, it was one of the easiest and hardest poems for me to write. Kevin, the lifeless is how you are after the love has died, it needs to be there, because that is where your heart and soul are during heartbreak. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kronos Posted May 24, 2007 Report Share Posted May 24, 2007 When truth hurts, u have a good poem. Nicely done! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now