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MuzikTyme

Corrupt a Wish

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Granted . You are forced , however , to relive the 'boy band ' era of the '90s +.

I wish the islands of Japan had engines so we could cruise around the seas as we liked -take that Google Maps!

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Granted. Canada becomes the 51st-59th states of the Union. Ice Hocky becomes the national sport, followed by Curling and drinking Moosehead beer. Then Quebec stages a revolt, demanding to be reunited with France. (France demurrs, not wanting to have La Belle Tongue polluted by Canadian French.)

I wish that China would find a way to produce food products that don't maim of kill.

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Granted. Parents all over the world let their kids go trick-or-treating door-to-door again; only to find that half of them are abducted, sexually assaulted or murdered before they ever return home.

I wish that Barack Obama and John McCain would dress in costume as each other for their last debate.

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Granted. John McCain puts on burnt cork and does his best "Eddie Cantor at the movies" before being escorted from the stage by the Fruit of Islam. Barack Obama puts on his best Michael Jackson look and moonwalks across the stage until The Gloved One shows up to challenge him to a duel. (Hand-held hairdryers at point-blank range!)

I wish that the Russian sailors show the Somali pirates what happens when they mess with Ukranian arms commerce.

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Granted. You can start by paying off his $25,000 credit card balance, and then if you have any money left over, you can begin repaying the $500,000 left on his mortgage.

I wish that I could raise funds from benefactors to pay off my personal expenses.

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Granted. You are now wholly owned (body and soul)by Old Scratch LLC (A Hades Corporation). Repayment is required immediately or substituted by delivery of another soul!

I wish 20th Century Fox would start releasing seasons 2-6 of "St. Elsewhere."

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Educational interlude:

I wish that I could raise funds from benefactors to pay off my personal expenses.

This has, in fact, been done with remarkable success by a girl who ran up something like $30k in credit card debt (buying shoes, I believe). She developed a Web site asking for donations and giving some sort of funny story about how she'd dug herself such a hole. People sent her money left and right, and I believe she paid her entire debt off.

Now, back to your regularly scheduled F&G thread...

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I wish 20th Century Fox would start releasing seasons 2-6 of "St. Elsewhere."

Granted. The entire collection is delivered to your home by Stephen Furst and Howie Mandel, and they plan to stay at your place for the next two weeks. Good luck with that, Dude. It shouldn't be TOO annoying.

I wish weed came in assorted fruit flavors.

:afro: :afro: :afro: :jester:

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Granted. And you have so many options:

Looks like the bridge construction webcam is down at the moment.

So you can check if the Tri-County Technical Center has the video stream rolling. If not, there is the pleasant slide show.

Or you can find a link to the nearby video rental store right here.

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I wish they all could be California Girls ...

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Granted. By Papal decree, mandatory flagellation/self mutilation shall be practiced by all. (Martin Luther and Galileo were burned at the stake, The Spanish Armada had it's way with Tudor England, and The Inquisition never ended. This is an alternate future with a supreme Theocracy firmly in control...and at war with Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism etc.)

I wish that Saturday night Larrikinism was sanctioned by the church.

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Granted. You turned the clock too far back and now everything that happened in the last 30 days never happened. (Of course, that includes your beloved Phillies never having won the World Series).

I wish Barack Obama can bring a quick resolution of the economic crisis and bring our troops home safely from Iraq.

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