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Sweet Jane 61

Welcome The Night

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Welcome The Night

Arriving peaceful is the night

embracing me, breathing deep

I anticipate drifting to sleep.

A time where the tears stop

the silence welcomed, pain rests

the aching pauses in my chest.

Praying the night is dreamless

with memories pushed aside, tattered soul

emotions momentarily under control.

Fearful as morning light appears

thoughts again unstopable, loves harness

anxious as the minutes tick away to darkness.

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I like the consistent mood throughout, Jane. Especially like the line,

"Praying the night is dreamless"

Although replacing "the" with "that" might ring better. (I abhor "the" in poetry - that word usually means lost descriptive opportunity.)

One grammar usage miscue and one spelling. Should be "peacefully" and "unstoppable." Those are minor things, but something this pretty deserves to wear a dress untorn.

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Ron, as always I appreciate you comments. I do remember you telling about using "the", I will work on that one. As for the mispelling, that was me typing fast. I know I should take more time to clean up my poems, but sometimes I just leave them as they are worried I may change the feel of what I wrote. Still learning daily, which is a good thing for anyone. Thanks again Ron.

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Wow, this is a very beautiful peace of work!!. I can definately relate it to times when I hated living through the day so much that I looked forward to sleeping, so I couldn't feel anything for a few hours. I'd give it 10/10. It really spoke to me, great work.

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floyd, thank you for your wonderful comments. Funny how pain can give you some of your best poetry.

Yes, indeed. We learn more from our suffering than our lack of it. The problem is getting out the end of the pain to have the lesson learned, which is to forgive, and move on. Do you have any poetry along these lines??. I'll say it again, great work!!.

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