Sweet Jane 61 Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 Welcome The Night Arriving peaceful is the night embracing me, breathing deep I anticipate drifting to sleep. A time where the tears stop the silence welcomed, pain rests the aching pauses in my chest. Praying the night is dreamless with memories pushed aside, tattered soul emotions momentarily under control. Fearful as morning light appears thoughts again unstopable, loves harness anxious as the minutes tick away to darkness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hun, You really put into words the way I've felt many times. I can feel the heartache and I can relate. Beautiful writing, SJ. Ray Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted April 3, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 Thanks Ray. Guess heartache is good for a poet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted April 3, 2007 Report Share Posted April 3, 2007 I think if it weren't for heartache there wouldn't be much to write about for poets... or country singers! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted April 4, 2007 Report Share Posted April 4, 2007 I have felt that way myself sometimes, Jane. Very good poem! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted April 4, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2007 Thanks Jenny, I think everyone has at one time in their life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Elvish Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 I can relate as well...it's forlornly beautiful, A Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted April 18, 2007 Report Share Posted April 18, 2007 I like the consistent mood throughout, Jane. Especially like the line, "Praying the night is dreamless" Although replacing "the" with "that" might ring better. (I abhor "the" in poetry - that word usually means lost descriptive opportunity.) One grammar usage miscue and one spelling. Should be "peacefully" and "unstoppable." Those are minor things, but something this pretty deserves to wear a dress untorn. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted April 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 Ron, as always I appreciate you comments. I do remember you telling about using "the", I will work on that one. As for the mispelling, that was me typing fast. I know I should take more time to clean up my poems, but sometimes I just leave them as they are worried I may change the feel of what I wrote. Still learning daily, which is a good thing for anyone. Thanks again Ron. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 It's my pleasure to read your words, Jane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 6, 2007 Report Share Posted June 6, 2007 Wow, this is a very beautiful peace of work!!. I can definately relate it to times when I hated living through the day so much that I looked forward to sleeping, so I couldn't feel anything for a few hours. I'd give it 10/10. It really spoke to me, great work. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 floyd, thank you for your wonderful comments. Funny how pain can give you some of your best poetry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 floyd, thank you for your wonderful comments. Funny how pain can give you some of your best poetry. Yes, indeed. We learn more from our suffering than our lack of it. The problem is getting out the end of the pain to have the lesson learned, which is to forgive, and move on. Do you have any poetry along these lines??. I'll say it again, great work!!. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 In fact I do, and I will look for it at home this evening and post it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Thank you very much, I look forward to reading it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Jane has another fan!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sweet Jane 61 Posted June 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Ray, you are making me blush! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floydaholic Posted June 7, 2007 Report Share Posted June 7, 2007 Jane has another fan!! You couldn't be more right. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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