fpatrick Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Ok. Hey, I'm going to trying something new and sleep. I had fun - thanks for the laughs and interesting topics. Sometimes people take me too seriously. I don't. Thanks for not doing that. I hope some of you have a good dream. I just don't remember mine mostly. I get lost in some good memories at times, so that will do for now. Good Night All, -Frank Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 I take ambien these days, and I don't remember a thing an hour past when I take it. For all I know I could be raiding my fridge in the middle of the night... and blaming it on my son... yeah, that's it... I took Ambien for some 10 years or more. When I couldn´t sleep, of course... Amazing drug... Ambien, eh. Thanks for sharing that. Sounds like an alternative to a benzodiazapine. They both can cause memory loss. Actually, they cause amnesia... I had to stop it cause depending on the dose, the morning after I had to call my boyfriend to ask him if I had said or done something strange... Russian, Georgian of my fathers side. Regards, Fyordor My grandparents were Russian, from Odessa and Olonietsky. My mother is French but we speak Russian at home. Do you speak Russian, kamarad Fyordor? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Go to hell , edna - the KGB aren't paying anymore ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Kevin, I never worked for the KGB... you should know by now that I´m a member of the EARM (Enlightened Absolutism Resistant Movement). I use Apple, I went to a good school, I´m quite posh, you know? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Oh , of course . That what they all SAY - and where they are recruited mainly , eh - madame ?! The posh schools ? Commie havens - rebelling against your own class is 'cool' - I've got your number , missus , and am watching YOU ! Go back to bed - I think you're in a lucid dream now ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 A dream??? Back to bed??? Oh, please... it´s 8.30... when I was a child, at this time I had been in school for more than one hour. I woke up at 5.30... I love to get up early. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Yeah , why not ?! Grab a book , hit the couch ; read and pass out . Life is rarely sweeter ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 I like to do that at night. Reality is amazing... and sometimes sweet too. I love to start a new day, who knows what it´ll bring? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 start with a book - it'll go away soon . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 10, 2007 Report Share Posted April 10, 2007 Do you speak Russian, kamarad Fyordor? No, I'm as bad as most of us here. I speak only a subset of the American language. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 Books? Cool. I used to read lots of them. Lately, I read mostly online help, tech books and snippets on various topics on the web. And that is definitely unbalanced. I soon plan to re-read Fyordor Doystoyevsky's short story White Nights. I remember really loving that that one when I read it about 10 years ago, but I forgot what it was about. I don't know whether the online university the short review in the link comes from is 'posh', or much else about it. But I liked the review, and the story definitely soundes appealing to me. I ordered a collection with "White Nights", Notes from the Underground (which I am definetely SKIPPING) and "A Gentle Creature". I don't know the last one. The title sounds ok. Anyone read that one? I read 'notes' when I was about 15 years old and found it incredibly depressing, so I don't need that. I've been a bit heavy on non-fiction in general, so I'll start with "White Nights" soon. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 11, 2007 Report Share Posted April 11, 2007 (edited) Oh, I'm definitely interested in EARM (Enlightened Absolutism Resistant Movement) It sounds too good to be true. I also use Apple - A Intel 64 duo core model which screams along at 2.34 Ghz. There's all kinds of other cool stuff plugged into it and most draw phantom power from the Mac, if that helps. I said that because my education cause the 'Movement' to question my enlightenment, despite the fact that I AM here now, as my signature says. You may need to put in a good word for me, despite all the bi-directional digital communications protocols that connect my Apple to an astonishing array of musical devices with other slick jargonny names. I spent 2 years at a State university and transfered to Berklee (a music school), but I did graduate. And charliebanacos.com was like graduate school. I'm assuming the movement has a large number of members who went to pricey small liberal arts colleges and then got fellowships before developing theories in 'think tanks' - Those types tend to regard my lack of 'formal indoctrination' with suspicion. Good to see that someone appreciates irony. I may not be posh, but I'm extremely refined and subtle - I assure you. I say that out of habit. These qualities often go unnoticed, so I make it a point to frequently remind others of them, lest they forget and accidentally insult my intelligence or offend my sensibilities with their pretensious attitudes. Edited April 11, 2007 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Here's a couple of my favorite lucid dreams , courtesy of The Doors : The Crystal Ship ------------ Before you slip into unconsciousness I'd like to have another kiss Another flashing chance at bliss Another kiss, another kiss The days are bright and filled with pain Enclose me in your gentle rain The time you ran was too insane We'll meet again, we'll meet again Oh tell me where your freedom lies The streets are fields that never die Deliver me from reasons why You'd rather cry, I'd rather fly The crystal ship is being filled A thousand girls, a thousand thrills A million ways to spend your time When we get back, I'll drop a line The End --------- This is the end Beautiful friend This is the end My only friend, the end Of our elaborate plans, the end Of everything that stands, the end No safety or surprise, the end I'll never look into your eyes...again Can you picture what will be So limitless and free Desperately in need...of some...stranger's hand In a...desperate land Lost in a roman...wilderness of pain And all the children are insane All the children are insane Waiting for the summer rain, yeah There's danger on the edge of town Ride the king's highway, baby Weird scenes inside the gold mine Ride the highway west, baby Ride the snake, ride the snake To the lake, the ancient lake, baby The snake is long, seven miles Ride the snake...he's old, and his skin is cold The west is the best The west is the best Get here, and we'll do the rest The blue bus is callin' us The blue bus is callin' us Driver, where you taken' us The killer awoke before dawn, he put his boots on He took a face from the ancient gallery And he walked on down the hall He went into the room where his sister lived, and...then he Paid a visit to his brother, and then he He walked on down the hall, and And he came to a door...and he looked inside Father, yes son, I want to kill you Mother...i want to...******* you C'mon baby, take a chance with us C'mon baby, take a chance with us C'mon baby, take a chance with us And meet me at the back of the blue bus Doin' a blue rock On a blue bus Doin' a blue rock C'mon, yeah Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill, kill This is the end Beautiful friend This is the end My only friend, the end It hurts to set you free But you'll never follow me The end of laughter and soft lies The end of nights we tried to die This is the end ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Thanks. The Doors. They certainly were good at evoking a mood, weren't they. Their music certainly worked well with Apocolyps Now. The End - Not exactly uplifting, though is it. I get a lot of impressions, thoughts from all of these words in this thread, but I seem to miss the overall meaning of dreamy, mystical ones. If someone would explain them, I'll listen. There seem to be some references to things I don't know. I do have imagination, but somethings is eluding me. It wouldn't be the first time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Uplifting ? ... no ... but, You can always switch to 'She Loves You ' , if need be . This , I believe , is an interpretation of man shedding his societal skin and acting the savage . It's 'pure ' and it's 'true ' - if it disgusts you , turn away ; if you interested ... learn/ understand more ( or refute understanding ) - though that might lead to criminal charges ! Everyone is a potential murderer ... ( Are you an insomniac , Fp ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 She Love you - the Beatles song? That's so funny. Thanks for the interpretation. I agree with that. I'm a potential murderer, sure. Apocolypse Now made it on my top 5 list of films of this forum. I love that film. I think I understand and agree and I don't think I'm denying it. I've been in some very dangerous situations, but not like that. I've had some luck and bluffed some people (surpised it worked), Flight over fight. Violence, but nothing close to getting killed, but I've been around some that had done that. Kind of made me uneasy, but they weren't at 'work', but that wasn't good judgement. I know people that have endured some vile things that are friends of mine. I snatched some people out of some bad places, but I don't do that anymore. I know how to do it, but I don't take chances anymore. I avoid voilent people now. Those words of the song sound so harsh, so I don't look at them. I don't think I need to. I guess the closest I came to that was my comment on the Milgram experiment - We do what we're told. I think that's important to know about. I wish the film were available. It would be important if it made people understand so they didn't obey, but I'm not sure that's at the same level. My best friend is African American. I've know him for 32 years. He's 6 seven years older than me so he was born in 1953 and lived in Boston. I know some of his family. His father owned a couple of bars in Boston and he worked in one for a while. His uncle owns a Dental Franchise - nicest guy you'd ever want to meet. Great people. They came up from the south. So you can see what I've heard about. I know a lot our history. My friend brought me on these ghetto tours when I was about 17, so that was enlightening. It feels real enough I think. I could go on, but I think that's enough. Being brutalized by power was the worst - and being persecuted was even worse. Having your life ruined a couple of times and doing the right thing, so you didn't hurt someone. It seemed obvious, but most people dont do it. People don't 'get over' that. Harsh and prolonged. What's the point of revenge? I thought about it - I knew I wouldn't do it, but that seems normal. Revenge or hurting someone innocent accomplishes nothing and can only make things worse. I was close to the end. People helped me a lot. It's not that special. I can cite a lot of analogies that made it easier. It changed me forever. Insomiac? Hmmm. Let's have a waking contest. I'll give you five to one odds and I'd win without a yawn. Get back at you for that "She Loves ya" wisecrack. That made me laugh. I was thinking of posting "Mercy St." the lyric and the Anne Sexton poem. That would have sounded like "She loves ya" compared to "This is the end". Glad you replied first. Why not just do the Carbon Monoxide and skip the words to "The end"? Why make it any worse? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 You strike me as a little bit of nutter - prove me wrong ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Nutter - you need to be more specific. I'm not sure what 'nutter' means. It seems like I've bored people enough talking about myself. Also, remember I've been in the software industry for a long time and if I talk about a few of the people I alluded to, I'm a bit uneasy about their privacy. I could obfuscate some things. We practice discretion as a discipline in that industry. I understand why. So, I'm cautious. I'll just say that I'm been close to violence a lot. I took risks to help people out and I did a ton of charity (formal, regional 87-95 I was close to some real wealth and they built a lot of charities). I considered the risky stuff as 'informal' charity. 95-2005 and I did a lot of that too, and only some of it was dangerous. You looked my profile. I take the Buddhist stuff seriously. I don't care about losing my possessions. At present, life is kind of boring, actually, but when I worked, I'd do these long contracts (3 years, etc..) Then I'd take breaks and I did diverse things. So, I'm used to having breaks. It suits me - I don't expect anyone to be like me. I've known some people that did a lot of good, and in various ways. Since 96, I lived with family, friends and well below my means because possessions mean nothing to me. I know other people that hate seeing suffering too. I had my music studios, a 94 toyota collora and a cheap or free place to live. A bit of money and a few things. I don't tell people who are so conventional they would call me a sucker. It's tedious and it's always the people who've accomplished about 20% of what I have in that way. I liked wirting software. We got paid well because of the demand. I'm not the least bit impressed by that. I felt lucky. Compared to most poeple in this world, I've lived like a king. It's so obvious. I lived efficiently and didnt subject my values on others when it would matter to them. It's always been the watercouse way, the wisdom of insecurity. It just works for me. It's nothing special. I gave away a lot of what I made to people I knew. The late 90's were the boom years and I got well past the crash. I only help people who I care about and/or are really suffering through no fault of their own and can help themselves. There's so much violence around everywhere. It doesn't seem strange. I took some risks and was careless at times. Sometimes you get into situations accidentally. Everyone does, right? Everyone goes through traumas, I thought? Everyone is more or less disturbed, but it changes and it's impossible to define what this is in words with any accuracy for me. Ok, is everyone bored, confused or sick of this by now? I didn't know how to answer and the privacy issues are very real, but if anyone's interested, give me some time. I'm a bit chatty, as you can see. So I'd imagine this post is confusing due to: privacy issues, bad writing, some unsual things, things so ugly I don't want to be specific about. I don't define myself, except by what's happened to me, mostly. And that takes time. Time. Lots of Pink Floyd fans in this forum. I love that. Breathe. Breathe in the air. Don't be afraid to care. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Uh, Kev...c'mere. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Well ,Buddist - this coming from the land where even they don't take Buddisism seriously- lighten up , my friend ! You are welcome here - share your thoughts and worries ( in 100 words or less - at a time ) . You sound like a paranoid freak , abit - I don't think you are of course - just a man who has run himself into the ground . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fpatrick Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Paranoid freak? I need to take a break from here. I've failed at communicating or you don't believe me. That happens a lot. Because I'm unconventional, and seen things that most people haven't they don't believe me. I need to get out of here. It's consider it to be very disrespectful when people automatically consider I'm lying. It happens a lot. I'm not saying I know what you think. It's just that it happens so much. That's how I know where I belong and don't waste time. I understated things, acutally. It's often better to find out sooner about things. I don't enjoy being asked to reveal things and being called a 'Paranoid freak'. Why would I want to take abuse. I have plenty of things to do. I'll just do something else now. This is clearly not where I want to be. It's my choice. It's kind of obvious. Wow. The assumptions people make based on such ignorance of some topics never ceases to amaze me. Good Bye Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 Don't leave based on what one person said, fpatrick. Stick around for a while and get to know more of us. Kevin must be due for his meds, but otherwise, he's OK. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 don't take Kevin too serious fpatrick, he's a bit of a freak himself... I think you should stay a bit, listen to some music, chat with a few Pink Floyd fans etc this is really a nice place to be Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 I think I just had a lucid dream ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted April 12, 2007 Report Share Posted April 12, 2007 P.S. - don't mind Farin - I'm after his Kraut as next ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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