Blue Fish Posted March 14, 2007 Report Share Posted March 14, 2007 Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? The rain patters down It always rains now Do you really see me? I'm a life warrior. We walk as we talk We sounds so good to me I is all you know Me is all you live Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? The rain patters down I laugh and i smile Did you really see me? One more life to go the mile Butterflies on your lips Rivers in your laugh Walls behind your eyes Stopping love getting in Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? I pause to look at your soft eyes like a frog in the touchlight I'm hypnotised Hold me, touch me, kiss me, love me My armors stripped away. Your arms used to hold me safe wrapped tight around my back I'm trapped caught in the cage the softest cage i know Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? My eyes hold yours shining in wonder My lips whisper your name as your fingers touch My hearts a skippy love song record One you threw away. Your soft lips moist and parted as the form the letters of my name I sigh this is it, this is heaven you gotta know heaven before you know hell Your arms brake away As my knees start to tremble My lungs burn and my heart screams As you walk away. Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? The colors fade and the sound goes dull talk to me, smaile and it's back my heart still weeps everytime Everytime you walk away Hold me safe in harbour once more Don't let me drown in life alone Stow me saftly in your arms Away from hurt and harm Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? I remember us, we, when As I blankly stare at the table top The bottle's lables a blur and the Voldkas watered by my tears Silent regrets and protests a warriors scream muffled by life Slient pain and exhustion rolls down and splashes on the taped up photo Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? Cold against my head cold comfort that it's over Lifes the only thing thats painless when it ends Cold barrel, cold bullet, cold heart My tounge flickers out to moisten my lips Like yours did that first night together Ah yes, Remember together? You cold, stand-alone rock face? Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? but don't you know rocks crumble? there power and might crashes down your safe for now, ah yes but soon my friend soon Crimson meets clear as the ribbons of blood flow to embrace the rain on the sidewalk It always rains now theres a smile on my cold lips as you walk with her through crimson rain Does a hurricane look behind at the desperation there? Do waves feel regret as they roll out to sea? (corus fades out) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 Can't say that I like all of this, but then it is quite long...It's certainly evocative, and I like the way you deconstruct and rebuild the language to make phrases more interesting. Assuming you write all these yourself, I'd say you have a gift for this sort of thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted March 15, 2007 Report Share Posted March 15, 2007 I didn't like it . Lot's of good poetic ideas completely mixed up that build to nothing mixed in with mundane , ordinary speach and ideas or thoughts . A revision would help . It has potential , but is just cluttered presently with a chaosim of thought . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
basmusiq Posted April 19, 2007 Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 i liked it, but it kinda felt like a song, going from verse to chorus and what not Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted April 19, 2007 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2007 It is a song basmusiq.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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