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Coming back to the original question of whether men and women define love in the same way - first of all, I think "love" represents different things fr different people, regardless of gender. I don't believe in generalizations so I don't believe there's a set definition of love for women that's separate from what a man might think. There are similarities, however, that can't be denied.

I, personally, thought I'd been in love way more times than I actually had (which I later realized!). About expressing love, I think it again varies from person to person. I know women who'd rather express their love for other halves thorugh actions rather than words, and I know men who'd go all out and keep telling the other person how much he loves her.

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I just don't think I'm that far off Marcus sorry.

Seriously, I would say I'm in a minority not in a cookie cutter mode at all.

I neither feel confused or indifferent.

Sorry if you feel like I'm picking on you, I just so don't agree with you.

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It's also uttered by drunk guys :cool:

:laughing:

It's the same in Spanish. I wouldn't say "I love you" to a family member or even a best friend. I'd say something akin to "I appreciate you," "I cherish you," "I like you," or the usual "you're totally awersome." Saying "I love you" - unless you're just hitting on every girl in the room - is something quite serious.

In English, I say "I love you" even to the family cat and dog. I always make sure to say it to family and loved ones (and mean it) so that if anything were to ever happen to me, those would be the words I'd be remembered saying last :beatnik:

this fascinates me. I've had people whose first language is Spanish say that some words in Spanish are just so much more strongly felt than words in English, so I think I know what you're saying.

I say "I love you" to my son, my girlfriends, my siblings, and my parents... and I used to tell my (now-ex-) husband that, as well. But to every person, I now realize I say it slightly differently. I wonder if that's the secret about the English lanuage... in how it's said, rather than the word itself.

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after some incredible soul searching these past few days, and my impromptu research with yous kids, and also soliciting responses from peeps on Facebook, I have decided that, to me, this is what love is:

love = I think I have it figured out. At least for me. And it's comfortable and welcome, this knowing I have. Love is not what you project onto others, it is what you feel FROM THEM that counts. If you love someone, do your best every day to allow them to feel it. Even if they don't say it, they will know it in their hearts.

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I've had people whose first language is Spanish say that some words in Spanish are just so much more strongly felt than words in English

That' s because their language is Spanish... :cool: I think it depends on the situation... I've been in love in French and in Spanish and the difference was in the other person, not in the words... :)

Anyways... love is an amazing invention... :cool:

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I noticed that regardless of the male/female differences, saying "I love you" is used quite differently in English and German in general... here it's only used in a serious relationship, and even there it's quite a big thing

I think in English it's a bit more casual, where it's said among relatives (umm :crazy: ) or good friends (among women mostly)

This really depends. I know you're not trying to generalise, but it really depends on where you're from and what you're used to, not that much to do with the language... e.g. I think Americans are a lot more likely to say 'I love you' to people than British are, but here it's on the rise too, just a lot more in some social groups than others...

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  • 2 weeks later...

love = I think I have it figured out. At least for me. And it's comfortable and welcome, this knowing I have. Love is not what you project onto others, it is what you feel FROM THEM that counts. If you love someone, do your best every day to allow them to feel it. Even if they don't say it, they will know it in their hearts.

Just when I think I have it all figured out, the dynamics change to something different. A coupla things have remained the same, though. Rejection still has that particular strong sting as it did the very first time I became aware of it. The other is this, this etrange angst that permeates every cell, right down to the atoms of my very being whenever I think of the girl I fancy... with another. Oh, I feel it at the pit of me stomach. I feel dizzy and restless. My hearing is muffled and I can't hear anything. Nothing makes sense and I laugh then, although I can't even hear myself. All day: thinking, thinking, over and over, thinking, and finally sinking into sleep from plain ol' exhaustion. I suppose a benefit of always being alone is that I can dedicate aaall that spent energy towards other loves and passions with a more focused and fine-tuned sense. I am centered :beatnik:

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  • 3 weeks later...

I said that to a younger guy once. He flirted with me for a long time every time we'd see each other. He was very charming, very attractive, and very fun to hang around with. However, considering the age difference there is no way in my wildest dreams anything was gonna happen there. :shocked: (just for you really sickos - he was a legal adult... but barely.)

Anyway, I said it to him wistfully after I'd downed two or three strong beverages, and I meant it only so he'd know that yes, he is all that, but he's just too damn young. Face value.

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