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Ask the opposite sex


Uncle Joe

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Addendum :

If co-workers are rude or even nasty on a particular day , men can shrug it off as ( he is a basta*d / she's a bit*h ) and get on with the job at hand . He can either forget about it , get them back at a later time , or even confront them directly and innocently at some point during the day . Women usually have to guess what's wrong and play ' politics ' , which rarely leads to any satisfaction , hard feelings , and a poor husband who has to listen to all her whining about it later that evening .

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... they usually do ... :(

No , this game , see, you enter a maze ( your career ) and try and collect gold and treasure , but occasionally have to fight or have run-ins with either the the bitc*es or basta*ds ... you hope to survive ( without resorting to homicide ) and retire happily ... or is that the game of ' Life ' ? :crazy:

Anyway , the non-violent option may appeal to and gain an endorsement from the L.A. Sherriff's Department ( right Marc ? ;) ) .

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... because you stupid women can't quit thinking about tomorrow , and what you have to do , and just what did she ' mean ' by that comment , and what are you going to wear tomorrow , and did I call my friend / sister / etc. and wish her a happy birthday , etc. , and will they have my size at the shoe sale on Saturday , and does he REALLY love me / am I doing a good job raising my child / when is my next period - and where will I be ? etc. and other assorted bullsh*t ...

No wonder you can't sleep ! :shades:

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I've found that ' Simply Sleep ' by the Tylenol company usually does the trick when I don't wanna be bothered . Very mild - doesn't make you sleep , but if you can get there it'll help you stay there for awhile .

Besides , I don't have handcuffs , a .45 , a nightstick , TS gas nor a taser ( not that they would work anyway ).

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International Talk Like a Pirate Day isn't one o' those governmentally sanctioned holidays that shifts around to create a convenient three-day weekend. No, the date is ALWAYS Sept. 19 (Cap'n Slappy's ex-wife's birthday.) Now, occasionally Sept. 19 falls on a Sunday, and we recognize that may not meet everyone's desire for an excuse to party. While a lot of fun can be had ce;ebrating TLADP in a church setting (The choir will now sing, "How Great Thou Aaarrrrt!") we're suggesting that those of a more secular bent consider celebrating Talk Like A Pirate Weekend.
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... because you stupid women can't quit thinking about tomorrow , and what you have to do , and just what did she ' mean ' by that comment , and what are you going to wear tomorrow , and did I call my friend / sister / etc. and wish her a happy birthday , etc. , and will they have my size at the shoe sale on Saturday , and does he REALLY love me / am I doing a good job raising my child / when is my next period - and where will I be ? etc. and other assorted bullsh*t ...

No wonder you can't sleep ! :shades:

:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:

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Why it is Great to be a Lady:

Absolutely no guilt associated with a wrong response after being called a "chicken."

Hair remains upon the head.

At a bar; free food and drinks!

Never ever found voluntarily laying underneath a vehicle.

Can iron clothing, if it will make them look better.

Killing one's spouse may be perfectly acceptable.

Knows why items beyond a spoon are located adjacent the plate.

First in the hearts of every child.

Social, emotional or criminal faux pas? PMS. It's OK.

A woman looks gooood with a jacket pulled up over her head in a sudden downpour, instead of looking like a wuss.

A smile gets her a warning ticket, not an additional charge.

Judicially what's hers is hers and what's his is hers.

No one minds going into a common bathroom immediately after a woman comes out of it.

She can complain to him and he feels guilty; he complains to her and he feels guilty for doing so.

Get two service tries in volleyball.

Never has to deal with a "wet willy."

Can guiltlessly supervise multiple location changes simply on her whim while sipping iced tea when supervising the movement of 1000 pound objects around the house. In fact, it is expected.

Never has to chance a spider, bat, snake or rodent bite.

Never has to lift more than about 15 to 20 pounds.

Is able to live by consuming food that did not come from a can.

Can make the opposite sex do ANYTHING by merely asking for a favor.

Can have random flying items impact at the junction of her thighs without the entire world roaring in laughter at the video.

Does not require another individual in order to live in an attractive, clean environment.

Never stinks like an ashtray from lighting a fireplace.

First dibs on the bathroom ... always.

Can play the "forgotten anniversary (ANY anniversary) card" over and over and over.

Will always be the good looking one in a portrait of the couple.

Never has their life actually torn and scarred because a sports team fails to win a game.

Always win every argument .... always!

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