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Uncle Joe

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3. WHY DO MEN ALWAYS TOUCH THEMSELVES, ESPECIALLY IN PUBLIC?

We occasionally need to adjust our little friend and make him happy. It's much like adjusting your bra. Being in public is just an added bonus.

What a load of crap.

A. It's NOTHING like having to adjust your bra. The ONLY reason I ever have had to adjust mine is to pull the *&%^$^$ straps back up, which is a pain in the @$$ and if society didn't dictate that I WEAR one of the pieces of *^%^$&* in the first place, I would not ever feeled compelled to pull straps up.

B. This excuse works ONLY if you're wearing a jock strap and have to adjust the strap. Or the cup. Or whatever goes on there.

C. You guys have your hands down there playing with stuff alla time because you want to direct our attention down there.

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What a load of crap.

A. It's NOTHING like having to adjust your bra. The ONLY reason I ever have had to adjust mine is to pull the *&%^$^$ straps back up, which is a pain in the @$$ and if society didn't dictate that I WEAR one of the pieces of *^%^$&* in the first place, I would not ever feeled compelled to pull straps up.

B. This excuse works ONLY if you're wearing a jock strap and have to adjust the strap. Or the cup. Or whatever goes on there.

C. You guys have your hands down there playing with stuff alla time because you want to direct our attention down there.

A and B -Are you not aware that some men "dress" left and some men "dress" right? When there's a shift of "dress" an adjustment is necessary. Men do not dictate that you wear a bra. We'd rather you go without as long as you are fit. As for the straps...why not wear a bra that fits and try not to wiggle out of it when you walk in front of a guy.

C- All we have to do to direct your attention "down there" is to make eye contact with you and then slowly lower our gaze to our crotch. You'll look because you want to.

And as for you Laurie, you just may get to bat this year after all.

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why not wear a bra that fits

(silently repeating: if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all... if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all... - and finding it extremely tough to do at the moment...)

C- All we have to do to direct your attention "down there" is to make eye contact with you and then slowly lower our gaze to our crotch.

I've seen this move. It's not subtle.

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I have two questions

2-why do guys like strippers?

Well , as we see from nature documentaries , dominant male apes usually have a 'harem ' of females over which they , and they alone can copulate with . I believe the stripper is the evolutionary equivilent by presenting herself and her fellow ' dancers ' in a seductive way as a fantasy of eons past in which each patron can enjoy ' those good ol' days ' in his own mind .

As well , in keeping with our origins , fights occasionally break out in strip clubs if one particular patron drunkenly takes offence to the attentions another patron is giving to ' his girl ' . Perfectly natural . :)

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Geez Kev, I thought it was cuz dem gurls is nekkid.

Seriously, I am mystified as to why guys like girls who get paid to pretend to like them.

Ahh - but that would be TOO simple - we're hugely complex , afterall . ;) I would guess that men -instinctively want to avoid responsibility for someone else whenever possible . The pretending is mutual : lust on the part of the man ; finacial gain for the woman .The developement of ' the law ' was the first fascist clampdown on our joyful and utopian experience in this world ( right , Marc? ). The weak and stupid were now protected and our evolution has been hindered ever since - as well as to the detriment of the planet with overpopulation .

Women shop for numerous crappy item that they may or may not need . Men would rather blow their cash on a non-committal moment or two in which they feel they are getting their money's worth - some seductive attention ( though faked - which they well understand ) ... and then it's over - kinda like whisky - except for the hangover which is a lesson in responsibility which we all have to come to terms with someday, or blackjack . Talk to a ' successful ' stripper - it's the best job they ever had and are often living quite well due to this male mind-set .

Men , who are often accused of not showing proper feelings , DO infact like to express intense emotion - in the proper circumstances . The ' big' game on T.V . or a hot stripper who pretends to like them are some of the acceptable outlets. Hell , even the poles symbolize trees ...!

" Wanna keep your man ? Be a mother in the kitchen and a whore in the bedroom ! " - Jerry Hall ( though she was soon proved wrong as well :) )

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(silently repeating: if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all... if you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all... - and finding it extremely tough to do at the moment...)

I've seen this move. It's not subtle.

Shawna, I'm so sorry that you were subjected to that "move". No, it's not subtle at all. It's downright pathetic. I was just being a wise-ass.

Also, thank you for biting your tongue over my *un-fitting bra remark.

* Pun intended.

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