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Lock and Load


Danielj

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His shoulder is damp with blood

His feet soaked from the snow

There's a fire to warm him up just 2 miles away

But the fire in his heart is down to coals already

And he's a peacekeeper with the safety off.

He's a little mouse in a cobra's cage.

He's a small light in a sea of white.

Forced to be a martyr but he'll put up a fight

He's got a .22 in his pocket holster

A Swiss Army shoved down his boot

His best friend is hangin from his shoulder

He's got his M16 locked and ready to shoot

And he's a peacekeeper with the safety off.

He's a little mouse in a cobra's cage.

He's a small light in a sea of white

Forced to be a martyr but he'll put up a fight

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Agreed , Daniel - very good !

I would offer a few suggestions , though , if I may :

The .22 : Seems a little low in caliber . Aren't front-line troops equipped with more firepower ? Or is that what they use ?

The 'Swiss army shoved in his boot' : I assume you mean a combat knife , right ? I would suggest using ' a lethal ( or deadly , 12" ) blade ' or something like that instead . Most may think of the Swiss pocket-knife rather than a military dagger , I think . It also gives a ' tougher' image , IMO .

As well , after the previous stanza , I would start the next with ' But he's a peacekeeper ... etc. ' rather than 'and' to set up an interesting contrast between how he appears but with what he is charged with doing - an oxymoron ? . Just some thoughts . I really like this ! :thumbsup:

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