Kevin Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 Now , THAT is a German joke ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 ... and well told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted March 8, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 not to give you any ideas - I merely copy/pasted Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 And now for a musical video interlude. I think these guys are profs at Radhi's university! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levis Posted March 8, 2008 Report Share Posted March 8, 2008 I wish! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 In honor of the upcoming St. Paddy's Day.... Two men were sitting next to each other at Murphy's Pub. After awhile, one guy looks at the other and says, "I can't help but think, from listening to you, that you're from Ireland ." The other guy responds proudly, "Yes, that I am!" The first guy says, "So am I! And where about from Ireland might you be?" The other guy answers, "I'm from Dublin , I am." The first guy responds, "So am I!" "Mother Mary and begora. And what street did you live on in Dublin ?" The other guy says, "A lovely little area it was. I lived on McCleary Street in the old central part of town." The first guy says, "Faith and it's a small world. So did I! So did I! And to what school would you have been going?" The other guy answers, "Well now, I went to St. Mary's, of course." The first guy gets really excited and says, "And so did I. Tell me, what year did you graduate?" The other guy answers, "Well, now, let's see. I graduated in 1964." The first guy exclaims, "The Good Lord must be smiling down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding up in the same bar tonight. Can you believe it, I graduated from St. Mary's in 1964 my own self!" About this time, Vicky walks into the bar, sits down and orders a beer. Brian, the bartender, walks over to Vicky, shaking his head and mutters, "It's going to be a long night tonight." Vicky asks, "Why do you say that, Brian?" "The Kelly twins are drunk again." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Seeker Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Steering Wheel An angry pirate walks into a pub with a steering wheel attached to his crotch. The bartender looks at him and says, "hey buddy, do you know that you have a steering wheel attached to your crotch?" The pirate looks at him with a mean grin and says" Arrrrrgh!!!...I know and it's driving me nuts!" It might just be the way I tell 'em...but my kids thought that was the funniest joke I'd told them in years....thanks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Yep Johnny, Pirate jokes are great if you can do the ol' pirate accent to tell it.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 You're right. And why? ....because they arrrrgh! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted March 10, 2008 Report Share Posted March 10, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 (edited) An Italian workman wants a job, but the foreman won't hire him until he passes a little math test. "Here's your first question," the foreman said. "Without using numbers, represent the number 9." "Withouta numbers?" the Italian says, "Datsa easy." He proceeds to draw three trees. "What's this?" the boss asks. "Ave you gotta no brain? Tree and tree and tree makes a nine," says the Italian. "Fair enough," says the boss. "Here's your second question. Use the same rules, but this time the number is 99." The Italian stares into space for a while, then picks up the picture that he has just drawn and makes a smudge on each tree. "Ere you go." The boss scratches his head and says, "How on earth do you get that to represent 99?" "Eacha of da trees is a dirty now. So, it's dirty tree, and dirty tree, and dirty tree. Datsa a 99." The boss is getting worried that he will actually have to hire this Italian, so he says, "All right, last question. Same rules again, but represent the number 100." The Italian stares into space some more, then he picks up the picture again and makes a little mark at the base of each tree and says, "Ere you go. One hundred." The boss looks at the attempt. "You must be nuts if you think that represents a hundred!" The Italian leans forward and points to the marks at the base of each tree and says, "A little dogga come along and sh*ta by eacha tree. So now you gotta dirty tree and a turd, dirty tree and a turd, and dirty tree and a turd, data makea one hundred. So, whenna I start?" Edited March 11, 2008 by Guest spacing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 ^^ ^^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted March 11, 2008 Report Share Posted March 11, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levis Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Seeker Posted March 16, 2008 Report Share Posted March 16, 2008 Yes, please do Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted March 27, 2008 Report Share Posted March 27, 2008 Here's a nice little Jewish joke. A Rabbi's son had just gotten his driving permit. He asked his father about use of the family car. His father said, 'I'll make a deal with you. Bring your grades up, study your Talmud a little, get your hair cut and then we'll talk about it.' After about a month, the boy came back and again asked his father about his use of the car. The rabbi said, 'Son, I am very proud of you. You have brought your grades up, you've studied the Talmud diligently, but you didn't get your hair cut.' The young man replied, 'You know Dad, I've been thinking about that. You know Samson had long hair, Moses had long hair, Noah had long hair, and even Jesus had long hair.' The Rabbi said, 'Yes, and everywhere they went, they walked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted March 27, 2008 Author Report Share Posted March 27, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 The Lunchbox An Irishman, a Mexican and a Blonde Guy were doing construction work on scaffolding on the 20th floor of a building. They were eating lunch and the Irishman said, "Corned beef and cabbage! If I get corned beef and cabbage one more time for lunch, I'm going to jump off this building." The Mexican opened his lunch box and exclaimed, "Burritos again! If I get burritos one more time I'm going to jump off, too." The blonde opened his lunch and said, " Bologna again! If I get a bologna sandwich one more time, I'm jumping too." The next day, the Irishman opened his lunch box, saw corned beef and cabbage, and jumped to his death. The Mexican opened his lunch, saw a burrito, and jumped, too. The blonde guy opened his lunch, saw the bologna and jumped to his death as well. At the funeral, the Irishman's wife was weeping. She said, "If I'd known how really tired he was of corned beef and cabbage, I never would have given it to him again!" The Mexican's wife also wept and said, "I could have given him tacos or enchiladas! I didn't realize he hated burritos so much." Everyone turned and stared at the blonde's wife. The blonde's wife said, "Don't look at me. He makes his own lunch!" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levis Posted March 28, 2008 Report Share Posted March 28, 2008 ^ I know the indian variant of that joke... one of my favourites Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 Identity Crisis A little girl, when asked her name, would reply, "I'm Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter." Her mother told her this was wrong, she must say, "I'm Jane Sugarbrown." The Vicar spoke to the little girl in Sunday school, and said, "Aren't you Mr. Sugarbrown's daughter?" She replied, "I thought I was, but my mother says I'm not." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 Religion vs. Evolution A little girl asked her mother, "How did the human race come about?" The Mother answered, "God made Adam and Eve; they had children and, so all mankind was made." A few days later, the little girl asked her father the same question. The father answered, "Many years ago there were monkeys, and we developed from them." The confused girl returns to her mother and says, "Mom, how is it possible that you told me that the human race was created by God , and Papa says we developed from monkeys?" The Mother answers, "Well, dear, it is very simple. I told you about the origin of my side of the family, and your father told you about his side." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted April 10, 2008 Report Share Posted April 10, 2008 ^^ ^ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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