What sweetens your coffee today II

[RonJonSurfer 15]

A giraffe walks into a bar and says "The high balls are on me".

[_Laurie_ 9]

OMG

[_Laurie_ 9]

What's the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts? Beer nuts are a $1.25 but deer nuts are always under a buck....

I think I'm in the wrong thread...

[Shawna 1]

What is the Jolly Green Giant most afraid of?

An avocado picker.

[_Laurie_ 9]

[RonJonSurfer 15]

I blame Laurie for all of this.....

[Rayzor 1]

Yep. Completely Laurie's fault. She's simply gone nuts.

[CanAm 6]

That's just a load of bollocks.

[Carl 22]

Saw this in Esquire:

A woman walks into a bar and asks for a double entendre. The bartender gives it to her.

[Rayzor 1]

[RonJonSurfer 15]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender say "Why the long face?"

[CanAm 6]

For sale: parachute. Only used once, never opened.

[andy7 0]

Monster Energy for only €1.25

[Zabadak 0]

A horse walks into a bar and the bartender say "Why the long face?"

A bear walks into a bar and asks for "A pint of beer and....................

.............a bag of crisps, please."

The bartender says "OK, but why the huge pause?" :sing1:

[andy7 0]

A bear walks into a bar and asks for "A pint of beer and....................

.............a bag of crisps, please."

The bartender says "OK, but why the huge pause?" :sing1:

A time traveler walks into a bar for the first time and orders a drink last week.

[Rayzor 1]

See what you started Laurie...

[andy7 0]

Laurie walks into a bar and tells a joke

[CanAm 6]

A sandwich walks into a bar. The bartender says "sorry, we don't serve food in here."

[RonJonSurfer 15]

A time traveler walks into a bar for the first time and orders a drink last week.

A rope walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and says "sorry we dont serve ropes here." So the rope disappointedly leaves, but returns later and again orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and repeats that they do not serve ropes there.

So the rope goes outside, ties himself into a knot and beats himself against a wall.

He then goes back into the bar and orders a drink.

The bartender looks at him and says"arent you the rope who came in earlier?", and the rope says"no, I`m a frayed knot"

[Wyld Card 5]

[andy7 0]

[Jenny 2]

Someone asked me today if I had hit my 40's yet. When I told her I was 43, she said, "Oh, you look 38!" THAT really sweetened my coffee

:sing1:

[Shawna 1]

someone yesterday gave me a senior discount without my even asking. Jeff noticed it. After he went off to get our drinks, I whispered, "It's because of him, right?" She just laughed and said, "I just thought anyone would appreciate a discount these days."

[RonJonSurfer 15]

Merry Christmas to each and every SF'er...Here's my little gift...a reminder to listen to the funkiest little Christmas song ever by James Brown. It's hard to listen to it and not feel happy (and to wonder how much James had to drink before recording). The man was wonderful:

[edna 6]

Merry Christmas, Songfactors!

Thank you for the days...