johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Sorry if this has been done before....but it made me smile. Recently Richard Dawkins (respected mild mannered scientist and Darwinist) did a documentary programme, shown in Britain, where he attempted to interview a few fundamentalists (from both sides of the divide) about their views on evolution. To be fair to the fundamentalist idiots (of any religion) they all gave him a hard time, but the one who gave him the hardest time (and the most threatening) was....Ted Haggard. Mr.Haggard has now been exposed as (yet another) hypocritical, drug using pervert.....oh Joy! Ted Arthur Haggard (born June 27, 1956) is an American evangelical preacher. Known as Pastor Ted to his congregation, he is the founder and former pastor of the New Life Church in Colorado Springs, Colorado, and was a founder of the Association of Life-Giving Churches. On November 3, 2006, he resigned his leadership of the National Association of Evangelicals[1] and stepped aside as pastor of his church because of allegations by former male prostitute[2] and masseur Mike Jones that Haggard engaged in sex with him for three years and used methamphetamine. Haggard at first claimed he did not know his accuser.[3] On November 5, in a statement, Haggard said, "The fact is I am guilty of sexual immorality."[4] Wikipedia...so, it must be true. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Apart from the spelling error and missing hyphen, that would have looked soooooo good as a "Get The Word Out" thread-title: the name of an "up and coming" band.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 OK, so I can't spell 'fundamentalist'....but where would you have stuck the hyphen? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 "amphetamine-fuelled" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Not 'Gay-sex' then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 As strains of "Touch The Hem of His Garment" play in the background. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Not 'Gay-sex' then? No. The unfortunate lack of hyphen between "amphetamine" and "fuelled" renders the sentence's meaning as "a Christian fundamentalist, who was (somehow) contained within an amphetamine (??!!), was responsible for fuelling an orgy of gay sex." The latter is quite correctly left unhyphenated, as "gay" is simply used as an adjective to describe the noun "sex", a common abbreviation for the act of sexual intercourse. (Or "the beast with two backs", to coin a Spenserian colloquialism). The addition of the hyphen clarifies that the Christian fundamentalist in question was fuelled by amphetamines (rather than contained within one!!!) during this frenetic orgy of homosexual activity. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 How long until your head explodes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 You think there's a danger of that? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Possibly. You just seem really upset about a hyphen. I mean, you used three consecutive exclamation points. I just worry, is all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 johnny asked, I answered. It's as simple as that. No stress involved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 It may seem like just a hyphen to you, but when the omission of that tiny little line alters the whole sense of a sentence...To me, that demands action. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 No. The unfortunate lack of hyphen between "amphetamine" and "fuelled" renders the sentence's meaning as "a Christian fundamentalist, who was (somehow) contained within an amphetamine (??!!), was responsible for fuelling an orgy of gay sex." Whilst bowing (discreetly, with my back to the wall) to your superior knowledge on the precise punctuation of slurs...could an alternative not have been 'Fundamentalist Christian's Amphetamine Fuelled Gay Sex Scandal'? Thus placing the possessive pronoun within the orbit of the individual and thus obviating the need to seperate noun and the adjective with a hyphen....or is 'fuelled' a verb under these circumstances?...just a thought. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 You people are in-sane. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 Well, your ironic use of a hyphen is well-made, but I object to the assumption that such sophistry is mere pedantry and can therefore be dismissed with humour...these things mean something to BF....that's why I taunt him so. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 But I think that everything can be dismissed with humor, Johnny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 (edited) Me too....and I look to you as a brother in this quest. Edited November 6, 2006 by Guest Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 (edited) ...could an alternative not have been 'Fundamentalist Christian's Amphetamine Fuelled Gay Sex Scandal'? Thus placing the possessive pronoun within the orbit of the individual and thus obviating the need to seperate noun and the adjective with a hyphen....or is 'fuelled' a verb under these circumstances?...just a thought. Only if your intention was to identify the Christian fundamentalist in question as the owner of the amphetamine which fuelled this drug-crazed sex-romp. In that case, with this new emphasis, the meaning could change yet again: the headline might serve to emphasise (erroneously) that the randy cleric supplied the drug which fuelled the escapade of carnal abandon, without necessarily implying that he himself were involved in these bawdy shenanigans. Newspaper headlines frequently eschew the normal rules of grammar. Hence I wouldn't normally interrogate one to this degree. However, the placement (or omission) of the hyphen is demonstrably crucial to the reader's interpretation in this instance. On further analysis, I am now questioning the properties of the words "gay", "sex" and "scandal", and wondering if there might, after all, be a case for the insertion of a hyphen. "Gay" is certainly used as an adjective in this instance, but does it describe the noun "sex" or the noun "scandal"? Can a "sex scandal" be intrinsically "gay"? I tend to take the view that the "gay" pertains specifically to the nature of the sex, rather than being descriptive of the scandal. Therefore, it could be that "gay sex" represents an adjectival phrase, suggesting that a hyphen might indeed be appropriate. Had you used the phrase "bum-sex", the requirement for a hyphen would have been immediately more explicit, and we wouldn't be having this discussion. Edited November 6, 2006 by Guest addition of a comma: can't afford to screw up punctuation in a post like this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 (edited) Had you used the phrase "bum-sex", the requirement for a hyphen would have been immediately more explicit, and we wouldn't be having this discussion. Hence my initial confusion. Had I been more confident in my parsing of such phraseology I would have immediately been upon you (not unlike a 'rat-up-a-drainpipe') in deriding your choice of hyphenation. However, being somewhat insecure in my grasp of the finer arts of punctuation, I was content to conceed the possiblity of being wrong. I now see that the choice is, somewhat arbitrary, in that it rests upon the emphasis upon which I 'intended', as opposed to the emphasis which you divined. Bum-sex is a perfectly contrived alternative, for which I thank you. I will be forever in your debt. Edited November 6, 2006 by Guest Not sure of the correct punctuation of 'bum-sex' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 6, 2006 Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 ...being somewhat insecure in my grasp of the finer arts of punctuation, I was content to conceed the possiblity of being wrong. I now see... You mean "concede"? Bum-sex is a perfectly contrived alternative, for which I thank you. I will be forever in your debt.Much obliged. 'Tis indeed a pleasure doing business with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 6, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 6, 2006 May I be the first to say that you are the only person I would (albeit reluctantly) accept bum-sex from, as opposed to the alternatives hitherto posited. And that's only because you're blind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 .. and just to add fuel to the fire, for our non-British friends, that would be spelled "amphetamine-fueled." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 May I be the first to say that you are the only person I would (albeit reluctantly) accept bum-sex from, as opposed to the alternatives hitherto posited. And that's only because you're blind. Honoured, I'm sure. Might I just mention my slight disappointment that my initial reference to the fictitious band of the thread's title- high on methamphetamine and engaged in acts of frenzied sexual congress, let's not forget- as "up and coming" seems not to have registered any comment, appreciative or otherwise? Am I to assume that this pleasing jeu de mots was too subtle for its own good? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted November 7, 2006 Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 ... as "up and coming" seems not to have registered any comment, appreciative or otherwise? Am I to assume that this pleasing jeu de mots was too subtle for its own good? That, or perhaps had merely expended its full thrust after initial ejaculation? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted November 7, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 7, 2006 I think you may have just been pleasuring yourself with this one...although, it does beg the question whether there is an equally appropriate, albeit antonymic equivalent 'down and going'?...which is what I'm about to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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