The Seeker Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 I don't think Farin was serious, he was just quoting a song... I still have a hard time believing that there won't be any evil in heaven if that's where we go, and which I'm not that sure of, but everyone can believe what they want, and I'm aware that religious discussions can get rather emotional, so I'm off to lunch now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Okay, sorry Farin, I'm a bit serious when it comes to God!! RANDOM LIST!!! Ten rules of Gun Safety. 10) always keep your gun pointed in a safe direction, such as at a hippy or a communist. 9) Dumb children may get hold of your gun and shoot each other. If your children are dumb put them up for adoption and protect your guns. 8) No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey. 7) If guns make you nervous drink a bottle of whiskey before going onto the range. A nervous gunner is a nervous gun. 6) When unholstering your weapon, it’s customary to say “excuse me while I whip this outâ€. 5) Don’t load your gun unless you are ready to shoot something or are angry. 4) If you gun misfires, NEVER look down the barrel to inspect it. That’s what friends are for. 3) Never use your gun to pistol whip someone, That could mar the finish. 2) No matter how excited you are at getting your first gun, do not run around yelling “I have a gun! I have a gun!†1) And the most important rule of gun safety: Don’t hack me off! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 don't worry about it 8) No matter how responsible he seems, never give your gun to a monkey. 2) No matter how excited you are at getting your first gun, do not run around yelling “I have a gun! I have a gun!†Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 And Then: Shiva [wiki], "the Destroyer," will dissolve the evil and corrupt universe. And then, because all things are cyclical, the universe will simultaneously be reborn. Will programs that have previously been DVR'ed or TiVo'ed have been saved? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Until: No, that’s it, actually. For the record, most Muslims do believe that some "People of the Book," that is, Christians and Jews, will also get to heaven. Yes, except that they believe this will be accomplished through the use of IED's. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Until: God intervenes in the Battle of Armageddon, saving the Jews, evil leaves the world, and earth becomes perfect. It’s like Belinda Carlisle song: "They say in heaven love comes first/We’ll make heaven a place on earth." And she doesn't even look Jewish. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Atheism Things Never Get Bad: At least not due to religious factors. And Then: Things continue not to get bad. Until: Things get even better. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Farin Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Somebody mentioned homefries yesterday, so now I am making them...they should be done soon... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Mmmmmmm...and a nice mushroom-cheese omelet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Sure...coming right up....just leave a good tip Joe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Posolutely! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Red Fish Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Are you sure you're in the right thread, Laurie? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rayzor Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Laurie is always posting in the wrong thread... she should have her eyes examined Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 ^^Dorks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 30, 2007 Report Share Posted January 30, 2007 Are you sure you're in the right thread, Laurie? Why?...is there a thread about Home Fries? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 I´ll make some meatballs today. I got the idea since I read Laurie´s post a week ago... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Use lots of garlic Edna! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Thanks for the reminder, laurie... Actually, I´ll buy the things I need to make them and then let my husband work in the kitchen... he´ s far better than me and besides, he loves to cook. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 That's good he loves to cook!...I just remembered I have a CPR training in the morning...I really should go to bed, shouldn't I?....It's a 6 hour course! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Laurie, you know I love to have you around but it must be 2 am or so where you live, so you´d better go to bed... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 I know I should, but this is much more fun...sleep is way over-rated.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
edna Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 I need five hours sleep every night... am I not hip? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted January 31, 2007 Report Share Posted January 31, 2007 Can't find the joke thread anywhere . Was it deleted ? Anyway here's a cute one with a Canadian flavor ( though it's likely made the rounds using other cities / states /provinces /countries ... etc . ) . I 'm originally from Saskatchewan , BTW ... Three Men and Their New Wives Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Newfoundland, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away. The second man had married a woman from British Columbia . He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning, dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table. The third man had married a Saskatchewan Girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal. He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye. Enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher, and telephone a landscaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Levis Posted February 5, 2007 Report Share Posted February 5, 2007 My several years in the word game have learnt me several rules: 1.Always avoid alliteration. 2.Prepositions are not words to end sentences with. 3.Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) 4.Employ the vernacular. 5.Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc. 6.Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary. 7.It is wrong to ever split an infinitive. 8.Contractions aren't necessary. 9.Foreign words and phrases are not apropos. 10.One should never generalize. 11.Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know." 12.Comparisons are as bad as cliches. 13.Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous. 14.Profanity sucks. 15.Be more or less specific. 16.Understatement is always best. 17.Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement. 18.One-word sentences? Eliminate. 19.Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake. 20.The passive voice is to be avoided. 21.Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms. 22.Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed. 23.Who needs rhetorical questions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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