Tenacious_Peaches Posted April 17, 2006 Author Report Share Posted April 17, 2006 My favorites... Jack Bauer never gets pop-ups. Ever. If Rosa Parks was in Jack Bauer's seat, she'd move to the back of the bus. When Jack Bauer signs up for a free ipod online, they actually give him one. When Jack Bauer was a child, he made his mother finish his vegetables. Jack Bauer once double teamed a girl.. by himself. Simon Says should be renamed to Jack Bauer Says because if Jack Bauer says something then you better duckling do it. Every mathematical inequality officially ends with "< Jack Bauer". Jack Bauer got Hellen Keller to talk. Jack Bauer removed the "Escape" button from his keyboard. Jack Bauer never needs to escape. In kindergarten, Jack Bauer killed a terrorist for Show and Tell. What color is Jack Bauer's blood? Trick question. Jack Bauer does not bleed. People with amnesia still remember Jack Bauer. When Jack Bauer pissses into the wind, the wind changes direction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted April 17, 2006 Report Share Posted April 17, 2006 Isaac Hayes meant to say, "Jack Bauer is one bad mutha.... (shut yo mouf) But I'm talkin' 'bout Jack Bauer." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SoulGirl Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 haha you posted some of the ones i cut out for fear of being offensive! i love you, das! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Earth-Angel Posted April 20, 2006 Report Share Posted April 20, 2006 We've been watching season 2 in the evenings and I get so excited, my boyfriend has to hit pause and leave the room! I just blurt out all the spoilers without realising it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted November 20, 2006 Author Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 I have officially watched every episode of every season. I can't wait for January...season six, baby! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted November 20, 2006 Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 Sure, these are sort of played out: MTV once tried to 'Punk' Kiefer Sutherland by staging a robery in a store. Sutherland smiled and pulled out his SIG and shot 3 actors in the head. This is why there was a new cast on Punk'd after season one. Jack Bauer can break anyone and anything, but he will always break the protocol first. Life doesn't give Jack Bauer lemons. Life asks him which fruit he wants. When 24 airs on the Spanish channel everyone’s lines are translated except for Jack's. The reason for this, nobody speaks for Jack Bauer. If Jack Bauer gives you his word, return it immediately and run. Jack Bauer once opened a can of whoop ass. All he found inside was a mirror. Jack Bauer could strangle you with a cordless phone. Messenger bags owe Jack Bauer for single-handedly stealing them from the clutches of emo fashion and making them genuinely cool. Same thing with hoodies. And crying. When Christopher Henderson tried to shoot Jack, his gun was, in fact, loaded. The bullets were just too scared to come out. Jack Bauer smokes after sex. Not cigarettes, his penis literally smokes. Jack Bauer has never caught a cold. How do we know? Colds still exist. They say you can't go a day without water, Jack Bauer has gone five seasons. Jack Bauer snapped a store clerk in half because he had said "Have a nice day!" Nobody tells Jack Bauer what to do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted November 20, 2006 Report Share Posted November 20, 2006 I too, anxiously await the Bauer Hour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 2, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 2, 2007 Please forgive any repeats. Jack Bauer jousted Sir Lancelot with a toothpick. And won. Jack Bauer once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands. Jack Bauer prefers windows...doors are for women, children, and people he kicks through them. Jack Bauer carries a hospital around with him at all times, it is the size of a 9mm bullet. As a child, Jack Bauer once ordered a "Happy Meal," but demanded his money back, as it did not make him happy. There are two kinds of people in the world. Those who fear Jack Bauer, and those who are Jack Bauer. Guys wearing a t-shirt "I'm with stupid" suddenly realize that the hand is showing upwards when they're standing next to Jack Bauer. When Jack Bauer goes to the airport and the metal detector doesn't go off, security gives him a gun. A man once said "Give me liberty or give me death." Jack Bauer gave him death. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 I thought that Dad was a good guy. } Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 6, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 There is no such thing as a good guy on 24. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted February 6, 2007 Report Share Posted February 6, 2007 So why doesn't Jack just kill everyone? They're all going to betray him eventually. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 7, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 7, 2007 He's working on it, TimLizzy. One dirty terrorist and one filthy traitor at a time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 The formula is getting tedious. Next season let's not have a White House antagonist nor a love interest for Chloe who must die. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 You questioning Jack, Joe? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 Oops, well, ummm...no, no. Not at all. (WTF was I thinking?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted February 13, 2007 Report Share Posted February 13, 2007 You'd better hope that's not too little, too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 I should have known the Russians were behind this... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 14, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 The Russian cat reminds me of Boris Badenov. I'm waiting for Natasha to make her appearance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted February 14, 2007 Report Share Posted February 14, 2007 Now that would knock me out! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 20, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 20, 2007 I love this show because when I am watching it, I never see anything coming. But when I think about it after I've seen it, I realize that of course these twists and turns are going to happen and I'm a dumb a$$ for being surprised. TimLizzy, we might have to fill you in on the ending of the show so you get the full impact of it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted February 20, 2007 Report Share Posted February 20, 2007 As soon as the show ended, I looked up the character that Jack called (who's name escapes me at the moment) on Wikipedia. So if I got it right, this guy became President when the current President's brother was critically injured, started out as just plain incompetent, but then turned out to be completely corrupt, and involved in Graem's assassination plot and tried to frame Jack for the whole deal. What I didn't understand is why he's a free man after all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 21, 2007 Author Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Good work, Encyclopedia Brown! (Click here if you don't know who that is.) I don't know why he's free, either. They probably cut him a deal because it would weaken the U.S. in the eyes of the world if the President was put in the slammer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Who said he was free? He said "The Secret Service knows where to find me." Awful scraggly-looking, too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted February 21, 2007 Report Share Posted February 21, 2007 Good work, Encyclopedia Brown! (Click here You underestimate me Peaches. I used to read those all the time as a Lizard-ling. I could always solve them, so I tried to start my own neighborhood detective agency, but there's really not a very good market for that in real life. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted March 21, 2007 Report Share Posted March 21, 2007 That vice-president is a real D-bag isn't he? Oh, and so is the one on 24. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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