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Favorite Novelty Song


phil

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In Mrs. Beattie's 5th grade class, I thought this was hysterical. She didn't...

Shaving Cream

Written by Benny Bell

I have a sad story to tell you

It may hurt your feelings a bit

Last night when I walked into my bathroom

I stepped in a big pile of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

I think I`ll break off with my girlfriend

Her antics are queer, I`ll admit

Each time I say, "darling, I love you"

She tells me that I`m full of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

Our baby fell out of the window

You`d think that her head would be split

But good luck was with her that morning

She fell in a barrel of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

An old lady died in a bathtub

She died from a terrible fit

In order to fulfill her wishes

She was buried in six feet of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

When I was in France with the army

One day I looked into my kit

I thought I would find me a sand-wich

But the darn thing was loaded with

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

And now, folks, my story is ended

I think it is time I should quit

If any of you feel offended

Stick your head in a barrel of

Shaving cream, be nice and clean

Shave everyday and you`ll always look keen!

:laugh:

Ken

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Top Posters In This Topic

My Little Bimbo Down On a Bamboo Isle - Walter Donaldson

Let's Misbehave - Cole Porter

Huggin' & A-Chalkin - Goell & Hayes

Everything Is Peaches Down In Georgia - Ager, Clark, & Meyer

Kickin' The Gong Around - Calloway (also fits in drug tunes category)

You're Not the Only Oyster In the Stew - Burke & Spins

What's the Use of Getting Sober? Meyers

At The Devils Ball - Irving Berlin

Save the Bones for Henry Jones - Barker

At the Codfish Ball - Mitchell & Pollack

Egyptian Ella - Unknown

That's My Weakness Now - Green & Stept

Just a few favorites from my collection of Tin Pan Alley tunes. Most of these are from the 20's and 30's when novelty tunes were a staple of the songwriters arsenal. Look on the back of most any old sheet music and they'll have a few bars of other tunes they're pitching. Almost always find one or two novelty tunes.

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Who's he?

he's this hilarious guy who takes all the most popular songs and parodies them. you can check out his official website here.

Kris Novoselic of Nirvana said that the band felt they had "made it" after Yankovic recorded "Smells Like Nirvana" (parodying "Smells Like Teen Spirit"). Kurt Cobain called Yankovic an American pop rock genius in his private journals. (from Wikipedia)

perhaps one of his most famous albums is the michael jackson take-off, 'even worse'. my family listened to that cassette on loop in the car when i was small, i still know all the words!

Track listing

1. "Fat" ("Bad" by Michael Jackson)

2. "Stuck In A Closet With Vanna White"

3. "(This Song's Just) Six Words Long" ("Got My Mind Set On You" as performed by George Harrison)

4. "You Make Me" (a style parody of Oingo Boingo)

5. "I Think I'm A Clone Now" ("I Think We're Alone Now" as performed by Tiffany)

6. "Lasagna" ("La Bamba" as popularized by Ritchie Valens, though the parody is more likely inspired by Los Lobos' 1987 cover)

7. "Melanie"

8. "Alimony" ("Mony, Mony" as performed by Billy Idol)

9. "Velvet Elvis" (style parody of The Police)

10. "Twister" (The original Twister commercial's words in a style parody of the Beastie Boys.)

11. "Good Old Days" (style parody of James Taylor)

weirdalyankovicevenworse3mg.jpg

Fat

by Al Yankovic

Lyrics:

Your butt is wide, well mine is too

Just watch your mouth or I'll sit on you

The word is out, better treat me right

'Cause I'm the king of cellulite

Ham on, ham on, ham on whole wheat, all right

My zippers bust, my buckles break

I'm too much man for you to take

The pavement cracks when I fall down

I've got more chins than Chinatown

Well, I've never used a phone booth

And I've never seen my toes

When I'm goin' to the movies

I take up seven rows

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on you know

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

Don'tcha call me pudgy, portly or stout

Just now tell me once again who's fat

When I walk out to get my mail

It measures on the Richter scale

Down at the beach I'm a lucky man

I'm the only one who gets a tan

If I have one more pie a la mode

I'm gonna need my own zip code

When you're only having seconds

I'm having twenty-thirds

When I go to get my shoes shined

I gotta take their word

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, sha mone

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it you know

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

And my shadow weighs forty-two pounds

Lemme tell you once again who's fat

If you see me comin' your way

Better give me plenty space

If I tell you that I'm hungry

Then won't you feed my face

Because I'm fat, I'm fat, come on

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

Woo woo woo, when I sit around the house

I really sit around the house

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, come on

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know it

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know, you know, you know, come on

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

And you know all by myself I'm a crowd

Lemme tell you once again

You know I'm huge, I'm fat, you know it

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, you know, hoo

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

You know I'm fat, I'm fat, you know it, you know

(Fat, fat, really really fat)

And the whole world knows I'm fat and I'm proud

Just tell me once again who's fat

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Tallone's post about "I like Chinese " made me recall this little ditty sung to the tune of " The Cat's in The Cradle " ... :D Apologies if you've just finished your Kung Pao Chicken ... LOL

Cat's in the Kettle

Did you ever think, when you eat Chinese

It ain’t pork or chicken but a fat Siamese?

Yet the food tastes great, so you don’t complain.

But that’s not chicken in your chicken chow mein.

Seems to me I ordered sweet-and-sour pork

But Garfield’s on my fork.

He’s purrin’ here on my fork.

...

There’s a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon

The place that I eat every day at noon.

They can feed you cat and you’ll never know

Once they wrap it up in dough, boys:

They fry it real crisp in dough.

...

Chou Lin asked if I wanted more

As he was dialin’ up his buddy at the old pet store.

I said "Not today. I lost my appetite.

"There’s two cats in my belly and they want to fight."

I was suckin’ on a Rolaid and a Tums or two

When I swear I heard it mew, boys:

And that is when I knew...

...

There’s a cat in the kettle at the Peking Moon

I think I gotta stop eatin’ there at noon.

They say that it’s beef or fish or pork

But it’s purrin’ there on my fork.

There’s a hair-ball on my fork.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Here's an oldie...was #10 on the charts in 1948..

I'm My Own Grandpa

Guy Lombardo

Now many many years ago when I was twenty-three

I was married to a widow who was pretty as can be

This widow had a grown-up daughter who had hair of red

My father fell in love with her and soon they too were wed

Oh I'm my own grandpa

I'm my own granpa

It sounds funny I know,

But it really is so

Oh I'm my own grandpa

This made my dad my son-in-law and changed my very life

My daughter was my mother 'cause she was my father's wife

To complicate the matter even though it brought me joy

I soon became the father of a bouncing baby boy

My little baby then became a brother-in-law to Dad

And so became my uncle, though it made me very sad

For if he was my uncle, then that also made him br'ther

Of the widow's grown-up daughter who was also my stepmother

Father's wife then had a son who kept them on the run

And he became my grandchild, for he was my daughter's son

My wife is now my mother's mother and it makes me blue

Because altho' she is my wife, she's my grandmother too

Now if my wife is my grandmother, then I'm her grandchild

And every time I think of it, it nearly drives me wild

For now I have become the strangest case I ever saw

As husband of my grandmother, I am my own grandpa

:)

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"Wet Dream" was a good one. Also anything by Stan Freeberg...especially "The Old Payola Roll Blues."

Don't forget "Transfusion" by Nervous Norvus...

Transfusion, transfusion

My red corpuscles are a mass confusion.

Never never never gonna speed again.

Slip the blood to me, Bud.

Edited by Guest
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