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Not your typical romantic gesture.


Sweet Jane 61

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I changed my name for Valentine's Day a couple of years after we were married. My husband always said it didn't matter to him either way; it was my name and I could add or take his if I wanted, if and when I chose.

Well, it felt like the right time and I was finally ready to let go of my maiden name. I went through all the paperwork and rigormoral with government offices. For Valentine's, I gave him a card with my new driver's license, social security and voter's registration cards inside.

He was truly touched. He always said it wasn't a big deal to him, but when it came down to it he really appreciated my taking his name.

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I'd like to start off by saying that I'm not big on mushy crap. Flowers and candy and jewelry don't mean anything to me. I want the person, not the stuff.

Anyhoo, when I was growing up, I always thought the song "Lady" by Kenny Rogers was the most romantic song ever. I knew that if a man could sing that to me and mean it, he was my one and only. I told Mr. Peaches that while we were still dating. He got down on his knees in front of me, held my hand, looked deep into my eyes and sang that song to me. It was so cheesy and sweet and romantic and terrible and wonderful all at the same time. I married him soon after.

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And after the love has gone?

Playing house.

She spent the first day packing her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining room table by candlelight, put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of Chardonnay.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimp shells dipped in caviar, into the hollow of the curtainrods.

She then cleaned up the kitchen and left.

When the husband returned with his new girlfriend, all was bliss for the first few days. Then slowly, the house began to smell. They tried everything, cleaning, mopping, and airing the place out. Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned. Air fresheners were hung everywhere. Exterminators were brought into set off gas canisters, during which they had to move out for a few days, and in the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked. People stopped coming over to visit. Repairmen refused to work in the house. The maid quit. Finally, they could not take the stench any longer and decided to move.

A month later, even though they had cut their price in half, they could not find a buyer for their stinky house. Word got out, and eventually, even the local realtors refused to return their calls. Finally, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to pu rchase a new place.

The ex-wife called the man, and asked how things were going. He told her the saga of the rotting house. She listened politely, and said that she missed her old home terribly, and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for getting the house back.

Knowing his ex-wife had no idea how bad the smell was, he agreed on a price that was about 1/10th of what the house had been worth, but only if she were to sign the papers that very day. She agreed, and within the hour his lawyers delivered the paperwork.

A week later the man and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home, including the curtain rods.

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I'd like to start off by saying that I'm not big on mushy crap. Flowers and candy and jewelry don't mean anything to me. I want the person, not the stuff.

Anyhoo, when I was growing up, I always thought the song "Lady" by Kenny Rogers was the most romantic song ever. I knew that if a man could sing that to me and mean it, he was my one and only. I told Mr. Peaches that while we were still dating. He got down on his knees in front of me, held my hand, looked deep into my eyes and sang that song to me. It was so cheesy and sweet and romantic and terrible and wonderful all at the same time. I married him soon after.

Now that is romantic Peaches....that is what I meant with out of the ordinary. I am with you. flowers, candy, jewelry been there done that...impress me is what I am talking about...but I am not into men at the moment...thinking of getting into women...LOL!!

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