Strange, Weird and Wacky!

[Super Ry 71]

Nice....

[Kevin]

Hmmm . Farin hasn't been on yet ...

[Farin]

Good costume !

indeed

[Farin]

[big]'I'm going to tell my son the worst swearword in the world'[/big]

[smaller]Jon Ronson

Saturday July 28, 2007

The Guardian[/smaller]

My eight-year-old son, Joel, comes into my office to ask if there's a worse swearword than f*ck. "No," I say.

There's a silence. "You're lying," he says.

"There's none worse than f*ck," I say.

Joel narrows his eyes. "I know you're lying," he says. He leaves the room.

On Saturday I take Joel to Chessington World of Adventures. What a crappy theme park! None the less, we have a wonderful day together.

"You're a great dad!" Joel says as we drive home.

"And you're a great son!" I reply with a magical twinkle.

We smile lovingly at each other.

"There is a worse swearword than f*ck, isn't there?" says Joel.

"Yes, there is!" I say, still with a magical twinkle.

"What is it?" asks Joel.

"It's c..." I begin. I stop. "Uh," I say.

"Tell me," says Joel. "I swear this is just for me. I'll never use it. I just need to know. I will never use it on anyone. I swear. Just tell me."

I feel clammy and hemmed in. "And you won't tell Mum we had this conversation?" I say.

"I promise," says Joel. "Mum will never know."

There's a silence. "I can't tell you," I say.

"Tell me," says Joel.

"I can't," I say.

"Then why did you almost tell me?" Joel yells.

"Because I wasn't thinking responsibly!" I yell. "I was swept up in the magic of the moment."

"You have to tell me," Joel says. "It's only fair."

"Uh," I say. "I, uh... I..."

I look around the car. For some reason we have an old can of Italian lemonade down on the floor.

"It's limone," I say.

There's a silence.

"Limone?" says Joel.

"That's the worst swearword of all," I say. "Limone. But I'm holding you to your promise that you will never use it. OK? Never."

"Limone?" says Joel. He seems disappointed.

"There's nowhere to go after limone," I say. "Limone is the Everest peak of swearing."

Joel looks out of the window.

"You know," I say, wisely, "sometimes the mystery is better than the knowing, wouldn't you say? Sometimes the journey is better than the destination. Anyway, don't tell Mum."

We reach the house. Joel rushes inside.

"Mum!" he yells. "Dad told me the worst swearword of all! I know what it is! Limone!"

My wife, Elaine, appears at the top of the stairs, an inscrutable expression on her face. I shrug, anxiously.

A month passes. We go for a weekend away. At the hotel, a boy on a tricycle crashes into Joel.

"Limone," mutters Joel under his breath.

Another month passes. Joel has a friend round for a sleepover. At 11pm I hear them talking. They're saying, "Limone" in awed whispers.

"I feel terrible about this," I say to Elaine. "I've tricked my own son. I'm going to tell him that limone isn't a swearword, and is in fact the Italian word for lemon." I pause. "I'm going to tell him the actual worst swearword in the world."

"You are not!" says Elaine.

"I'd rather he was foul-mouthed and accurate than see him like this," I say. "All because of my stupid, stupid slip of the tongue in the car on the way back from Chessington World of Adventures."

"You are not going to tell Joel the worst swearword in the world!" Elaine yells.

And so I don't.

Today, Joel comes into my office. "Hi," he says.

"Hi," I say.

There's a silence.

"Anyway, I'll see you later," says Joel. He goes to leave. Then he turns around.

"Oh," he says. "C*nt."

[Sweet Jane 61]

TEXAS TOWN FOR SALE!!!

SAN ANTONIO - Bobby Cave, owner of a Texas town called Albert, decided this year to sell. Then a friend mentioned the online auction site eBay Inc. Now, with the click of a mouse — and at least $2.5 million — Albert could be yours.

After spending hundreds of thousands of dollars to clean up and restore the 13-acre town about 50 miles north of San Antonio, Cave said he's ready to move on to his next venture.

"It's a concept. It's one of a kind," said Cave, 47, a real estate agent. "It's more like a piece of art than it is a real estate property. That's why eBay sounded so good to us. It's quirky."

Eric Meissner, Cave's friend and co-listing agent, said Albert qualifies as a town, or at least was once a town, because it used to have a post office. Albert dates to the late 1800s and is now unincorporated.

"There is a road sign with a name on it. It's indicative of an area," Meissner said. "Just because the post office goes away the town doesn't go away."

No one lives there permanently, but the tavern that Cave created from the frame of the old general store is open on weekends. There are also the "cleanest public restrooms in Texas," built by Cave, and a pavilion, 85-year-old dance hall, tractor shed and three-bedroom house. All of that, plus peach and pecan orchards, come with the land.

Cave said he will even throw in his plan to turn the place into a tourist destination, including plans for a restaurant and cabins.

The eBay auction closes Nov. 23. On Wednesday, about a week after bidding opened, offers topped $300,000. But that was still less than Cave's "reserve price" of $2.5 million, the least he will take for the property.

Hani Durzy, an eBay spokesman, said listing an entire town for auction is very uncommon.

"We always like it when these kinds of things appear on the site because it's fun," Durzy said. "We wish them luck."

Bridgeville, in northern California, was the first town ever put on the eBay auction block. The 83 acres were twice sold on the site, in 2002 (that deal fell through) and again last year.

[Farin]

The state of Texas just spent 18-months to publish a 668-page report finding—wait for it—that the state of Texas issues too many reports.

In the past, the state regularly compiled a list of about 400 reports that agencies were required by the Legislature to produce. But the commission found more than 1,600, and state records administrator Michael Heskett is pretty sure his team hasn't found them all.

Heskett's initial findings indicate more than 400 report requirements are obsolete, duplicative or not needed as frequently as currently required.

"At first, we were overwhelmed by the sheer number of reporting requirements," Heskett said. "We haven't begun our evaluation yet. But I think we can reach our goal of eliminating the deadwood without compromising the need for accountability in our state agencies."

In true public choice fashion, the report reporters also make a case for their job security, arguing that so long as there are too many reports in Texas, there will be a need for someone to issue a report on the matter.

As for the commission's massive report on reports, Heskett predicts it won't go away.

"For the report to be effective, it must be ongoing," he said.

link via link

Edited November 5, 2007 by Guest
makes more sense now, thanks ji :)

[Sweet Jane 61]

I feel a Texas theme going on....

[TheLizard]

Ah, I am so proud of my resident state.

[Sweet Jane 61]

PASS THE BAGEL...NO WAIT NEVER MIND!!!

A New York chef has come up with a luxury version of one of the city's staple foods -- the $1,000 bagel.

The pricey bagel, that is topped with white truffle cream cheese and goji berry infused Riesling jelly with golden leaves, joins a list of $1,000 delicacies in Manhattan that includes an ice-cream sundae topped with a 23-karat edible gold leaf and a pizza topped with six kinds of caviar and lobster.

The bagel is the creation of chef Frank Tujague of The Westin New York hotel at Times Square and was designed in part to help raise funds for Les Amis d'Escoffier Scholarship which provides scholarships to students of the culinary arts.

"I wanted to create something that speaks to New York, and is also a reflection of my culinary passion for seasonality and fine ingredients," said Tujague in a statement.

He said by weight, white truffles -- also known as "white gold" and "kings of the table" -- are the second most expensive food in the world next to caviar.

Like mushrooms, truffles are the fruiting bodies of fungi, except that they grow underground instead of popping up on the surface. They grow in a symbiotic relationship with trees, taking sugar from the roots and giving back minerals.

Truffles are said to be an aphrodisiac because their aroma is similar to that of pheromones, which are irresistible to some mammals and can be picked up by dogs and female pigs used to sniff out the precious tubers.

With a limited seasonal window from now until the end of the year, the $1,000 bagel is only available until December 14.

"Bagels are a New York food landmark, which is where the base for this dish came from. White truffles are a simple, quality ingredient that takes the meal, or the bagel in this case, to the next level," said Tujague.

By giving back a portion of the proceeds, we are inspiring future chefs to think outside the box and maximize culinary creativity."

One bonus -- guests who decided to order the bagel the required 24 hours in advance need not worry about tax and gratuity. Those are included.

[Sweet Jane 61]

It's great the money goes for the students, but $1000 for a bagel??? I many other uses for that kind of money...only in New York.

[Sweet Jane 61]

Gator eats robbery suspect!

A man fleeing from police near Miami, Florida, jumped in a pond and was eaten by a large alligator.

Video...a little gross!

[skybluesky]

We all know I'm proud of being a Hoosier, but I'm not so proud after reading this story, which happened in a town a few miles from where I grew up

Police Use Oil to Free Suspect in Shaft

THORNTOWN, Ind. (AP) - Authorities used vegetable oil to free a man who said he became trapped in the vent shaft of a grocery store when he tried to rob it.

Adam F. Cooper, 19, was being held on $10,000 bail Friday on charges including burglary and criminal mischief.

Authorities said Cooper was found Tuesday night in the shaft between the ceiling and the roof of the store after someone heard him screaming for help.

Emergency workers cut Cooper's sweatshirt away, poured vegetable oil taken from a store shelf down the shaft and handed him a rope. Four men on the roof then pulled him out, said Thorntown Deputy Marshal Chad Clendening. He was trapped for at least an hour.

"He's really lucky someone heard him yelling," Clendening said. "Otherwise, we probably would have been removing a corpse the next morning."

Earlier that day, Cooper had been on a team that cleaned the store's vent, authorities said. He reportedly told police he was able to move through the vent while he was working, so he figured he could use it to rob the store.

The Associated Press left a message Friday seeking comment from Cooper's attorney, Michael Gross.

[Kevin]

He's innocent ... until proven guilty !

[skybluesky]

Believe me, this town is no bigger than a postage stamp, so I guess there's nothing better to do than try and rob the IGA.

[Sweet Jane 61]

I could not believe this when I saw it!! I always thought Joan Van Ark was nice looking...she is 64 now and well....SCARY!!!

[Farin]

[big]Left-Hand-Turn Elimination[/big]

[smaller]By JOEL LOVELL

Published: December 9, 2007

Link[/smaller]

It seems that sitting in the left lane, engine idling, waiting for oncoming traffic to clear so you can make a left-hand turn, is minutely wasteful — of time and peace of mind, for sure, but also of gas and therefore money. Not a ton of gas and money if we’re talking about just you and your Windstar, say, but immensely wasteful if we’re talking about more than 95,000 big square brown trucks delivering packages every day. And this realization — that when you operate a gigantic fleet of vehicles, tiny improvements in the efficiency of each one will translate to huge savings overall — is what led U.P.S. to limit further the number of left-hand turns its drivers make.

The company employs what it calls a “package flow†software program, which among other hyperefficient practices involving the packing and sorting of its cargo, maps out routes for every one of its drivers, drastically reducing the number of left-hand turns they make (taking into consideration, of course, those instances where not to make the left-hand turn would result in a ridiculously circuitous route).

Last year, according to Heather Robinson, a U.P.S. spokeswoman, the software helped the company shave 28.5 million miles off its delivery routes, which has resulted in savings of roughly three million gallons of gas and has reduced CO2 emissions by 31,000 metric tons. So what can Brown do for you? We can’t speak to how good or bad they are in the parcel-delivery world, but they won’t be clogging up the left-hand lane while they do their business.

[Farin]

[big]Germany moves to ban Scientology[/big]

[smaller]BBC News Link[/smaller]

Germany's federal and state interior ministers have declared the Church of Scientology unconstitutional, clearing the way for a possible ban.

The ministers have asked Germany's domestic intelligence agency to examine whether the Church's legal status as an association could be challenged.

Scientology is not recognised as a religion in Germany.

A Church of Scientology statement said the ministers were "completely out of step with the rest of the world".

The attempted ban is "a blatant attempt at justifying the on-going and never-ending discrimination against the Church of Scientology and its members in Germany," said the Church in a statement.

Critics accuse the organisation of cult-type practices and exploiting followers for financial gain.

But Scientologists reject this and say that they promote a religion based on the understanding of the human spirit.

Cult-type practices

Since January, when the Church of Scientology opened a new centre in the German capital, Berlin, Scientologists have come under intense public scrutiny.

People living near the centre complained that its members were actively trying to recruit and some politicians called for the organisation to be banned, accusing it of cult-type practices.

For years, Scientology has been monitored by German intelligence agencies, who claim the movement's structures and methods could pose a threat to the rule of law and "democratic order".

But the Church of Scientology insists that 10 years of surveillance "has uncovered absolutely no wrongdoing".

Under the ministers' new plan, the intelligence services have been asked to draw up a report on Scientology, and ministers will then have to clarify whether there is a legal basis for a ban.

But the BBC's Tristana Moore in Berlin says given the lobbying power of Germany's 6,000 Scientologists, who say they have a right to freedom of religion, it will be difficult to introduce a ban.

Scientology was founded in the United States in the 1950s by science-fiction writer L Ron Hubbard.

In October, a Spanish court ruled that the Church of Scientology of Spain should be re-entered into the country's register of officially recognised religions.

[TheLizard]

They should start by just banning Tom Cruise. That's make the world a better place.

[Tenacious_Peaches]

I think that article was posted in the wrong thread. It was neither strange, weird nor wacky. As a matter of fact, it's quite sensible.

[_Laurie_]

Didn't Tom Cruise get banned from MGM or something like that?

[Farin]

I think that article was posted in the wrong thread. It was neither strange, weird nor wacky. As a matter of fact, it's quite sensible.

(to the other replies too) I love you guys

here's something probably more appropriate for this thread

[big]Charity Forced to Pay Copyright Fee So Kids Can Sing Carols[/big]

[small]Written by enigmax on December 09, 2007

Link[/small]

Christmas is known world-wide as a time for sharing, a time for giving. But for one charity, instead of Santa arriving with gifts, the copyright police turned up demanding money. Why? Because the charity allows children to sing carols on the premises and their kitchen radio is a little loud. You couldn’t make it up.

Be under no illusion, being unlicensed to play music to the public is a very serious situation in the UK. The Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 states that if you use copyright music in public, you have to get permission from every single copyright holder to play their music. Or pay a fee to the right outfit.

Car maintenance chain Kwik Fit is currently tied up in a bitter legal battle with the UK Performing Rights Society (PRS). It’s alleged that Kwik Fit’s mechanics allowed their radios to be played within earshot of the public - a truly heinous crime for which the PRS are demanding £200,000 ($400,000) in damages.

According to a report, the PRS are at it again. The staff at a charity also received a visit from a PRS officer who declared that because a staff radio in the kitchen could be overheard by the public in their tea-room, they would need a license. The charity, Dam House, which was originally set up to save a historic building and offer community and health facilities, had to have a fund-raising event to raise the money for the license.

However, having purchased a license, this wasn’t the end of the matter. The PRS then started asking more questions, and when they discovered that kids sing in a carol concert there at Christmas, they declared that the premises were under licensed. Yes, of course - the PRS wanted yet more money.

“We got really worked up when they told us how much we would have to pay this year†said charity trustee, Margaret Hatton. “They asked us what facilities we had and we think they are charging more because they found out we’ve got a function room.â€

The next quote from Margaret really speaks for itself - has the world gone mad?

“They told us the only way to avoid paying to sing the carols is if the kids are told to stick to old songs which are out of copyright.â€

Next thing you know someone will be saying ‘Happy Birthday‘ is copyrighted and you can’t sing that to the public in the tea-rooms. Well, unfortunately it is, and legally you can’t.

Elaine Hurst, another Dam House trustee explained: “We know the recording artists need to be paid for their work but this is ridiculous.â€

Every TV owning family in the UK has to have a UK TV License by law, the proceeds of which go to fund BBC TV and BBC radio stations nationwide. To charge a charity money because the public can overhear a radio is crazy, especially when you consider the public already paid another license to be allowed to listen to the content coming out of its speakers.

Merry Christmas PRS

[MarcM]

[edna]

They should start by just banning Tom Cruise. That's make the world a better place.

I think I remember he wasn´t allowed to get in Germany... wasn´t he banned for being a Scientologist?

[Farin]

I think I remember he wasn´t allowed to get in Germany... wasn´t he banned for being a Scientologist?

no, nothing like that

he was just here making this movie about Stauffenberg and some people felt it inappropriate to let him have such an important role...

[Farin]

[big]Long-haired teen says trim not likely[/big]

[smaller]12:00 AM CST on Tuesday, January 8, 2008

By MATTHEW HAAG / The Dallas Morning News

mhaag@dallasnews.com

Link[/smaller]

E. Texas district warned him he risks not graduating if it's not cut

KERENS, Texas – Matthew Lopez-Widish hasn't cut his curly brown hair in four years, and he doesn't plan to despite an ultimatum from high school administrators.

A few days before Christmas break at Kerens High School, about 15 miles east of Corsicana in a tiny town known as the birthplace of Big Tex, the straight-A student and at least four other students were called into the principal's office.

Cut your hair by the time you return to school in January or be sent to alternative school, be removed from all extracurricular activities and risk not graduating, Matthew said the principal and assistant principal told him.

Classes in the Kerens district resume today.

"I told them that I'm not going to cut my hair," said Matthew, 18, whose hair, when uncurled, reaches the middle of his back. "It may seem kind of stubborn, but to me, it's part of who I am."

Matthew says that his rights are being stripped and that he's going to take his concerns to the school board meeting Monday.

Making his case

"I just want the school board to notice that just because I have long hair doesn't mean I'm going to quit learning or obstructing people from learning," Matthew said.

Downtown Kerens consists of a three-block strip of red brick road and mostly vacant or dilapidated one-story storefronts. About a mile to the south is the school district's campus, which houses all grade levels.

During school board meetings last fall, parents complained about recurring instances of students disobeying the hair code in the student handbook. Apparently, some long-haired boys were not doing a good enough job keeping their hair from falling below their shirt collar or from covering their ears.

The hair policy for male students at Kerens High is straightforward: No hair past the collar, no hair below the eyebrows, hair can't extend ½ inch over the ears, and ponytails can be no longer than a half-inch. The student dress code does not mention hair length for female students.

By December, Superintendent Kevin Stanford came up with a solution to repeated complaints about hair length: All high school males with long hair must get haircuts.

"What happened was that a number of male students would come in with it down, and they would play games and not have it up when they should have," said Mr. Stanford, whose grayish hair is cut close to the scalp. "The students had a chance to follow the rules, and they didn't."

Too many students would be on campus before or after school with their long hair let down in violation of school policy, Mr. Stanford said.

"The problem is that they don't consistently comply with the policy," he said, though he's never seen Matthew disobey the dress code rules.

To meet the dress code standards, Matthew's mom braids his hair and then tucks the braids to shorten them and keep them off his collar. He slicks back his hair on the top to keep it out of his face and from covering his ears. After the five-minute process is over, it's hard to tell that his hair is nearly 2 feet long, Matthew said.

His friend Wesley Bunch, who was also called into the principal's office, puts his much shorter blond hair in a ponytail and wears a headband to keep it out of his face.

Matthew's mom, Linda Lopez, doesn't buy the superintendent's reasoning that students didn't comply. She believes that the school board is against males having long hair, which she says is utterly foolish.

"It's not the '60s anymore. They aren't hippies, and they aren't radical anti-war tree huggers," she said.

Schools' right

Jim Walsh, a school law expert in Austin, said that school districts have the legal right to mandate hair and dress codes. Several cases, including one in the 1990s from Bastrop ISD that reached the Texas Supreme Court, have been decided in favor of the school districts.

"The courts generally affirm these standards," Mr. Walsh said.

Some challenges made on the basis of religious discrimination have been successful.

If Matthew is sent to alternative school, he could risk losing his extracurricular activities. His participation in a work program allows him to leave school early to go to his job as a cashier at a Jack in the Box near Corsicana, where he works upward of 30 hours a week.

But more important, Matthew said, he would be removed from One-Act Play, the UIL-sponsored theater contest that begins the first day back from the holiday break.

"That's one thing that I'd hate to lose," said Matthew, who played a villain in a recent community play.

His friend Wesley, is in the same situation. If he doesn't cut his hair, he will be removed from the school's skateboarding team.

But neither is budging.

Wesley and Matthew said the administration can send them to alternative school. And if that happens, Mrs. Lopez said, she'd look into removing her son from the district.

"It's just a kid with long hair," she said. "It doesn't seem like a punishment that he deserves."