Crazy Don Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 Couldn't spell "cat" even after spotting him the "C" and the "A." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
steel magnolia Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 From my favorite movie of all time: Steel Magnolias. He's so confused he doesn't know whether to scratch his watch or wind his butt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DiggsUK Posted January 24, 2006 Report Share Posted January 24, 2006 'Numb-nuts' and 'head-the-ball' are favorites of mine. Regards Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Head-the Ball is good, we use 'barmy as a bag of ferrets' from time to time down here...betraying our northern roots. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Batman Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 One card short of a deck One pink short of a floyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tenacious_Peaches Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 One pink short of a floyd Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 "as crazy as a sh*t house rat" My favourite phrase so far... For the concept of "stoopid", I'm afraid that in our household, we don't use anything wittier than "thick as pig-sh!t" or its briefer but often more tongue-twisting alternative "pig-sh!t thick". I have heard "as thick as a Welshman's c0ck" for someone who is both short and stupid, but it's not a phrase I've actually used in polite conversation.... For crazy, it would tend to be the fairly inane "Mad as a box of frogs" Pretty dull all round... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otokichi Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 Paraphrased from "Forrest Gump": "You couldn't find your own beehind with both hands and a road map!" Techie: "It's Digital and you mind is Analog." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 A few more we use: As much use as a fart in a colander As bent as a butchers hook As baffled as Adam on Mothers Day So useless he couldn't organise a piss up in a brewery As useful as a Condom machine in the Vatican As innocent as a Nun doing pressups in a Cucumber field Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 As much use as a fart in a colander Oh yes, I use that one alot....I've always assumed that would be a "northern" saying... Thinking about it a bit more, I also say... he's about as much use as a crack in a glass eye, or,....about as much use as a chocolate tea-cosy and "you're like a fart in a trance". Another commonplace- but not particularly amusing- euphemism for "lacking intelligence" is "not the full shilling" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
katie_sane Posted January 25, 2006 Report Share Posted January 25, 2006 We say 'as cunning as a sh*thouse rat'. A few kangaroos loose in the top paddock Not the full quid A few snags short of a barbecue Sharp as a marble A six pack short of a slab A few sandwiches short of a picnic Couldn't find their way out of a wet paper bag Couldn't organise a shag in brothel with a fist full of $50 notes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Adam Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 My son and I like "Apparently I need to buy you a helmet" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lonelyday Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 not so imaginative, but thick as a brick is a favourite. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 As much use as....an ashtray on a motorcycle. I like that one. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Motorcycle? Motorcycle?! Who the hell calls it "a motorcycle"??? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 How about "He's a black-belt in Nokandu"? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Well, we normally say 'about as much use as an ashtray on a 1952 Vincent Black Shadow'....just to keep our impeccable musical credentials...10 points for the Artiste? (and no Googling) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 someone Thompson or Thomas? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johnnyguitar Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Richard Thompson....well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonJonSurfer Posted January 27, 2006 Report Share Posted January 27, 2006 Every once in a while it is a good thing to tell somebody they are an idiot without mincing words. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MarcM Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 I have always liked the word "buffoon" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miamisammy29 Posted January 28, 2006 Report Share Posted January 28, 2006 As baffled as Adam on Mothers Day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 ...about as much use as tits on a fish.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
daslied Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 That's not the least bit funny. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blind-fitter Posted March 14, 2006 Report Share Posted March 14, 2006 (edited) ...about as much use as tits on a fish.... That's not the least bit funny. I guess not... to you weirdy ICHTHYOPHILES... Edited March 14, 2006 by Guest JUST FOR DRAMATIC EFFECT Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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