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Happy birthday blind-fitter!


Foxy

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This one's called "What I did at work on my birthday"

Did you ever hear of Mrs Fitter Snr?

Seldom a reader was there keener,

While I was still in my papoose

She read out loud from Dr Seuss.

And at the tender age of three

Young Fitter sat on mummy's knee,

And what, perchance, did they peruse?

Yes, you guessed it, Dr Seuss

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue

Hop on Pop, the Sneetches too,

The Cat in the Hat, Green Eggs and Ham

All played their part in "who I am".

For ever since that age so young

I've revelled in trickery of the tongue,

And sharpened my linguistic flair

By picking stuff up here and there.

Disgruntled, Berks and Frankie Howerd,

Harry Hill and Noel Coward

(Not to mention many others:

Certain teachers, friends and brothers,

Countdown hosted by Richard Whitely,

Viewed upon a basis nightly)

all in a melting-pot suffuse

With the prime ingredient, Dr Seuss

Yet pay heed: this tale is cautionary!

Obsessions can become disproportionary,

And coupled with a lack of social skills

Can cause all manner of potential ills.

A pedant of linguistic bent,

Who can be apoplectic sent

By erratic grammar, inaccurate spelling,

And by people who, by dint of their failure to recognise the significance of "cadence", simply "need telling".

But when carried away by wry invective

I have a tactic which may prove effective,

When I veer into the territory of "verbal abuse",

In future I'll blame it on Dr. Seuss

And when I'm opining what "sucks" and what "rocks"

I'll bless my cotton fox in socks,

When my language verges on obtuse,

It'll largely be thanks to Dr Seuss.

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See, now that I've been reprimanded for not showing enough enthusiasm, we are getting CAPS and exclamation points all over the place...

and MISSING WORDS!!!

(I'll up the ante with some bold type)

but can I take this opportunity to say "thanks" to all those of you who have taken a few precious seconds out of your day just to send your birthday greetings. I really am quite overwhelmed.

(It's places like this that enable loners like me to feel like there really are people out there that care...)

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