Friends with the Boss?

[Sweet Jane 61]

Do you think it is ethical to be friends with you boss/supervisor? The last station I worked and my PD and I were very tight...told each other everything when it came to our lives outside the station. I liked that closeness, but it was a unique situation. And we were just friends. I like my PD at the station I work at now, and he wants to be friends with some of us, but then again he is a manager and close with the GM of the station. But anyway...can a boss and employee be friends and not let work cause problems?

[RonJonSurfer]

I think the main problem arises when the boss has to something very "boss-like" such as critique of the employees performance or that their benefits are being slashed....it can become uncomfortable. Other employees often resent the relationship and feel the preferred employee is being treated better because of the relationship. If you then get a deserved raise that was higher than others....people will accuse the relationship insted of their inferior performance.

But face it, friendships happen and can last much longer than jobs...I've never turned away from becoming friends with an employee, but I've paid for it with rumors and I've been taken advantage of by these friends over the years...

tough call...

[edna]

Tough one...

I have had all kind of experiences (the girlfriend, the ex, the best friend, the just friend, the just employee...) and I never had problems.

Just once, it ended up very badly cause we were much too close, and much too stoned too...

[Tenacious_Peaches]

I knew my supervisor before we started working together and have become great friends. I'm friends with his wife (she works here as well). We have all hung out together outside of work. We've never had a problem because we both have the same work ethic. When it's time to work, we both know what needs to be done. But we also both appreciate a good break in the working day to have a 3 hour chat about "Lost", too.

But I think we are definitely an exception to the rule. Normally I don't think it's a good idea...it gets too complicated.

[Sweet Jane 61]

It is cool when you have a boss that you can be friends with, but all of the comments make sense. Funny thing is, work is where we spend so much of our time.....

[Lucky]

I would have in the past always said it's not a good idea. However, my direct boss was my friend at my last job, pretty close friend. She actually helped me move on to a better job (she also moved on, and is no longer my boss), and when I moved out, she helped finance that. She knew the spot I was in financially. I do think that had as much to do with the fact that our lives had taken similar turns, and she understood my situation. So, I have not only been friends with my boss, but have borrowed money from her. A possible double whammy. It hasn't hurt the realtionship at all, thank goodness, because I did worry a little about that.

[steel magnolia]

For those of you who didn't know, I work with Peaches, but we don't have the same supervisor. My supervisor is in another town and I see her once a week. We're not that close, but we have a good working relationship.

[Foxy]

I had a very good relationship with my last manager, we found a common interest in music, when he commented he liked a certain song that he couldn't find. I happened to have it at home, so offered too help him out.

From then on we chatted over e-mail at home as well as at work. He visited the depot I worked at every day and we would chat for at least 30 minutes daily, as well as phone calls throughout. Although that was as far as it went, there was a mutual attraction that we both had talked about, and had our situations been different (both in relationships although mine was ending), the potential was there for something more than we already had.

After family bereavement and ill health, I was signed off from work for just over 6 months to recover and in that time I slowly realised that the situation with him was not good for me or my job. That was a major contributor in my decision to leave that job. I never went back from sick leave, and handed in my resignation letter on my last day of full pay.

There can be advantages, but the disadvantages can also be huge as I found out. I haven't learnt though, but that's a whole other story....

[Shawna]

when I was married, my (now)ex and I owned a corporation. His official title was VP, and his partner was President. Anyway, he had to hire and fire people all the time - out of an employee base that ranged just under 70 or so - and he never seemed to have a problem being outside friends with his employees as well as being their boss. He went to happy hours with them, played baseball with them, went out of town with them... which is a big part of the reason we're not married anymore - he never took me on any of these excursions.

[Jenny]

My boss is young and I think she's trying to have a good relationship with us. She comes with us to lunches out and we all have a good rapport with her. In good weather, she schedules "one on one" meetings which consist of taking a walk outside and gossiping. She and I usually talk about our kids.

She does not eat lunch everyday with any of us and she hasn't invited any of us out for any after work activities, nor have any of us invited her. In my opinion, it's nice to keep a little distance.

When her position was open last year, I applied for it, but then I debated accepting it if it was offered to me because I was friendly with my co-workers and wasn't sure how I could handle being their boss if they couldn't be professional about it. I wasn't even sure I could be professional about it.