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For My Dad


Sweet Jane 61

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When my Dad died 2 1/2 years ago from injuries he recieved after falling off a roof, I was lost...I was not ready to lose my Dad. I wrote him this letter and read it at the funeral and then gave it to my Dad to be with him always. I am glad I found my copy...in a strange way it made me smile.

Dear Daddy,

I can't believe that you are gone, even as I read this it still doesn't seem real to me. From the time I can remember you always told me I was special because you and Mom choose me to be your daughter, and I know that I am the luckiest girl in the world to have been choosen by the two of you. I can't even fathom how much I am going to miss you Daddy, but I will always remember the wonderful childhood you gave me. When I was 5 and we were oyster hunting in Florida and you were so proud that I ate them right out of the shell just like you. The summers in Key West, learning all about the ocean, fishing, diving, and running the boat...I never could tie a good boating knot but you didn't care. As I grew up and made mistakes in my life, you were always there for me, my rock, not judging me, just trying to make it all better. Like when I was little. I am going to miss our birthday, a day we shared and were together on every year. It won't be the same without you Daddy. Something I will miss the most is you knocking at my door saying "Sissy, you home, it's you old Dad to say Hi." I won't let you go Daddy, I never will, I won't say goodbye, I can't, but I will send all my love with you and keep you in my heart forever.

I love you, your daughter.

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sweet jane that was lovely it tugged at my heart,

i lost my mum just a year ago, and it is really hitting me now, i still go to phone her to tell her something, then i remember she is not there anymore to answer it, and i am going to find it really hard this christmas without her

a big hug for you

suttie xx

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jane, your letter filled my eyes with tears! when my best friend's dad died last year, i thought my world had collapsed, because all these thoughts were creeping threw my head. my dad had me when he was relatively old, so i always worry about him even if he is fitter than me! because my parents are divorced, i never spent enough time with him. also, because i am me, i never let my parents know that i love them loads.

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Last night was the first time since my Dad passed that I went through the box of things I have from the funeral, the cards, the newspaper clippings, notes from friends and family, and things. It was hard but at the same time something I needed to do. I put the box away and not sure when I will get it out again...maybe when Emily is old enough to understand. It healed me in some ways but do you ever completely heal from a loss....thank you for letting me share this with you all.

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Jane I couldn't be more touched. Your letter brings back the feelings I had (and still have) when I lost my mom, 5 years ago, and makes me mourn for something I never had with my dad. You're very blessed even though it's hard to imagine that. You have wonderful memories,and feelings to carry with you always.

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Okay....now I have to dry my eyes....Thankfully, I have not lost my parents, and at times I wonder how I'll cope when that day comes.

I used to write regularly. I don't so much anymore, but this makes me think that maybe I should. I should write a letter like this to everyone I love and read it to them while they're still alive.

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Jen, that 's a wonderful idea. Remember to include your daughter.

Jane, I purposely waited until this morning to read your post hoping it would give me time to steel myself against the flood of emotion that was sure to come. Didn't work. Very lovely thoughts to pass along to your Dad. Thank you for sharing it with us.

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Jenny...writing is such a great release, even if you don't share it with anyone. I have been writing since I was a young teen. I look back at some of those writings and they seem not to make much sense but at the time I wrote them, it helped me. Give it a try again, I recommend everyone to write. And thanks for the lovely comments from everyone.

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Jane, that really was special - thank you for sharing it with us.

I know how hard it is when you walk to the phone to call them and remember that no one will be there to pick it up. Sometimes I ask people if I am being stupid or if they are really not on this earth anymore, sometimes the fantasy is easier to cope with.

It is difficult, and it is frightening, and you start to look at other loved ones and think that they too will no longer be there one day.

Be strong and know that no one can take away your cherished memories or your familiar closeness with them, no matter what the distance is between you.

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Did this ever happen to you...? after losing somebody you love so much, during the first months you think "Oh, I know, I´ll send her/him an e-mail" or "Now my cell phone has a good battery so I´ll call", etc... and in less than one second you realise that wasn´t the problem...?

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I have dreams about my grandparents all the time. In most of them, I am a little girl again and I am trying to keep them alive by doing certain things but I just can't because I get too tired or I keep falling or getting lost and I wake up in a panic and sweating. I've been told it is quite normal to have these sorts of dreams, that they are unconcious guilt about a death and thinking there was something you could have done to prevent it.

((((Rach))))

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Jane, that was beautiful . I lost my father 5 years ago , and still , don't think I've been able to put the words to what I feel , yet . I always loved this song by U2 :

Album: The Joshua Tree : Red Hill Mining Town

From father to son

The blood runs thin

See faces frozen still

Against the wind

The seam is split

The coal face cracked

The lines are long

There's no going back

Through hands of steel

And heart of stone

Our labour day

Has come and gone

Yeah you leave me holding on

In Red Hill Town

See lights go down, I'm...

Hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

I'm still waiting

I'm hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

The glass is cut

The bottle run dry

Our love runs cold

In the caverns of the night

We're wounded by fear

Injured in doubt

I can lose myself

You I can't live without

Yeah you keep me holding on

In Red Hill Town

See the lights go down on

I'm hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

I'm still waiting

Hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

Hold on to

We'll scorch the earth

Set fire to the sky

We stoop so low to reach so high

A link is lost

The chain undone

We wait all day

For night to come

And it comes

Like a hunter child

I'm hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

I'm still waiting

I'm hanging on

You're all that's left to hold on to

Love...slowly stripped away

Love...has seen its better day

Hanging on

The lights go out on Red Hill

The lights go down on Red Hill

Lights go down on Red Hill town

The lights go down on Red Hill

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This is the second 'all-things-must-pass' reference I'm seeing here today. And to think I was thinking (and bracing) myself for something similar a few minutes ago at the dinner table and trying to keep my eyes dry.

Telepathy I tell you.

Also, it's Friday. Friday's try to bring me down.

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