Standup Tragedy

[Aunt_Acid]

Jerry Seinfeld: "Did you ever notice your life is just an significant insect on societies windshield? I mean, you could die tonight, and the world would go on, unfazed"

Bill Engvall: "Heeeeere's your death certificate"

Dave Chappelle: "I don't know where I belong. I'm too hypocritical to be a black, but I'm not enough of a cracker to be white. My life is a constant struggle. I'm a man without a country"

Jeff Foxworthy: "Boy, my wife has me so whipped, she's completely ruined my life. I honestly couldn't be farther from the goals I set early on in life. I've completely lost my purpose and freedom."

Bill Cosby: "Ooooooh, ya got da teens, and when they talk, it's like 'zop skop diddly dop" because you don't know whhhhat they're saying. Grammar today is so bad, and I seem to be the only one who cares. This nation is going to hell, and I alooooooone can't stop it."

And instead of laughing, the audience cries.

Go ahead and add yours.