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Uncle Joe

Poetry, hot and cold

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These are entries to a Washington Post competition asking for a rhyme with the most romantic first line but the least romantic second line.

Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss

But I slept with you because I was pissed.

I thought that I could love no other

Until, that is, I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.

But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty, and so is your head.

Kind, intelligent, loving, and hot.

This describes everything you're not.

I want to feel your sweet embrace

But don't take that bag from off your face.

I love your smile, your face, your eyes.

Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,

Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.

That's why I always wake up screaming.

My love, you take my breath away.

What have you stepped in to smell this way?

What inspired this amorous rhyme?

Two parts vodka, one part lime.

Care to try a few of your own? Let's see what you've got.

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^ LOL joe, that's funny...I'm not that poetic but I'll give it a try :laughing:

You are the man that I adore,

but those nose hairs I just cant ignore!

You bring love and joy into my life,

but then you brought your wife

Words cant express how you make me feel

untill you asked me, are those real?

hey this is fun Joe!

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Ok, ok...I'll go first.

Your love makes me all warm inside

Because you gave me an infection

When I'm near you I just melt

It's one way to escape you

Your skin is like silk

Let me make myself a shirt from it

Your smile lights up a room

Unfortunately that makes it easier to see you

Your hair is like like lavender

But who could smell it over that breath

C'mon now...your turn.

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I fell in love with you the moment we met

It's the five years together that I'd rather forget

A moonlit dinner was what you wished

and yet you never even touched your Filet O' Fish

I took you home, my pretty wallflower

Now the hair from your back is clogging my shower

If I never loved you and I never thrilled you

it would be much easier for me to kill you

:afro: :afro: :afro: :jester: :jester: :jester:

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I love you so much, and I'll prove it tonight

but first I must ask, "you're 18, right?"

I love you so much, I love it when we meet

but the restraining order's pushed me back 100 feet.

I love you so much, you are so very nice

that I almost forget your very high price.

My wife went on vacation, I can't believe how much I missed her,

But I really did have a good time with her sister.

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If " a rose by any other name would smell as sweet "

then , sadly , it's pointless to relabel your feet.

Oh . Looks like Batman and I have a foot fetish ...

" Oh , Romeo , Romeo ... wherefore art thou ? "

" In a brothel , in Thailand , you silly old cow ! "

Though she was naked and sexy and , oh! , so fine ...

she was but a picture that I'd seen online.

Edited by Guest

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I took her body , her money , and drank all of her wine ,

but because I'm not greedy , I left her her mind .

alternative ending :

but t'was 9 months later when she repaid me in kind .

I love, you , I need you , without you I'm sunk ,

are the words you will hear when your husband is drunk.

Like a Ferrari , she purred , curvaceous , and bold

but I'm trading her in 'cause she's now very old . (ducks! )

Edited by Guest

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