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Life Throws Curveballs.


Ken

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This will go down in my own personal history as a week I'll never forget.

It started a couple of weeks ago when a client and I were talking. Being adopted, I told her that her last name was the same as my biological father's. I dodn't know much, just, his name and that he was deceased. She told me that he was her first cousin.

Early last week she brought in a small packet of information for me which was quite a kind thing to do. The packet contained a photograph of him. Again, I had never met him, but it was one of the weirdest feelings, looking at someone bearing a striking resemblance to me, and never meeting that person. Also in the packet was a copy of his obituary. Reading that it mentioned that he was survived by a daughter in a popular Florida city. God sure does love those curveballs. I have a blood sister I didn't know of, nor she of I. I called that city's directory assistance, and called the only number listed. Alas, it wasn't her, but it was her ex-husband, and they were on good terms. He provided me with her number. I waited a bit, and built the nerve up. I placed my call, and she answered. I told her that this was going to be the weirdest call she was ever going to get. I asked about her father, name, date he had passed, etc. I had the right girl. I asked her if she knew the existance of a blood half-brother and she said no, she didn't. I said that I didn't know how to put this, but I was her half-brother. I supplied the information I had and described a photograph only she would know. She let out a whoop, and so did I. Truly, the most extrordinary weeks of my life. We exchanged photographs via e-mail, and the resemblance is comical.

What a week....

Ken.

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That must be really strange... I wonder how I would react if I knew I have some sibling I didn´t know about... I guess I´d be glad... Are you going to meet her and talk about things? That would be interresting...

One of my nieces found an older sister a couple of years ago... seems she was born when her dad was very young and nobody knew nothing about her, not even her dad. She just showed up and said "I´m your daughter"...

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Ken - my son's name is Kenny also and he's adopted, too. :grin: His birth mother was an illegal immigrant in San Diego and she had another son who was 1 1/2 when my son was born. She and her other son, Edgar, spoke only Spanish. I never got to meet her since due to the circumstances surrounding her pregnancy with my son she did not wish to meet his adoptive parents nor know where the baby would be living.

I wonder if one day my son will want to hunt down his half brother, and if so will they be able to communicate? We have photos of his birth mother and half brother. There's no mistake he's related to them! Perhaps someday little Edgar will show up on our doorstep... I would welcome that.

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Shawna, I myself am adopted, my son is adopted, my mother-in-law is adoped and my sister (the one I grew up with) is adopted. It runs in the family. Allow me to give you my perspective on adoption.

Biology dictates that your hair may be blonde, brown, your eyes might be green, your skin may be black, you might be tall, short, fat, or skinny. But it is environment that determines everything else. Someone else gave birth to my son and didn't have the heart to abort him. But also didn't have the wherewithal to support and raise him. Nor the maturity to raise a small child. But that woman had the maturity and love to want her child to have a good life. So I contribute to the 'environment' factor of the equation by being (or trying to be) a good Dad. I've fixed his bike and shown him how it's cool to use a clothespin and a playing card to make his bike sound like a motorcycle. His mother had mended his knees when they needed mending. I've sat up scared shi*less when his fever peaked at 102. I've coached his soccer team. His mother went behind my back and paid the 130.00 for his 'Heely' running shoes. In short, we've been parents, much like I suspect you are doing, and anyone else reading this does. Over the years of my life, I have received some awesome gifts from those who love me. And I mean, awesome. But the best gift I've ever gotten ever is my Korey. From someone I've never met. And you want to know something? The kid loves me. As your adopted child will love you. As any child would love a parent or parents that show the kid love and kindness. That's just the way the equation works. Sure, someday the kid might want to know where he got his good looks from, but he or she will always know who their 'family' is. THAT shi* you can take to the bank.

Here's looking at you, kid..

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Ken.

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I have many adopted friends and also a couple of cousins... I can say that the love and harmony I see in their homes is sometimes bigger that the one in the house of non-adopted people.

A friend of mine is adopted, her dad was, her mom, her son, her grandad... a pretty warm and loving family.

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Hey Ken, just wanted to say your story filled me with some hope. Ive always known Im adopted...found out details when I was 18 yrs, such as who, where, when, how etc.

I began to write to my birth mother, but stopped because I realised I wasn't quite ready for all of the details. I did find out that I have three half-sisters somewhere. I will never meet them because they do not know I exist and I do not know my birth father's name.

After a few years of no contact with my birth mother I attempted to get back in contact with her - to be told she had died three days before from cancer and had tried to trace me for our first and probably last meeting.

So I shall never know my birth father's family, but after reading your story its true that it really is a small world and you never know what's guna happen!!!

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