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poem: shut up

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please please tell me your honest opinion about this poem. i need to know if it's bad, needs improvement or if it's okay. thanks.

SHUT UP

I'm losing all my control

I just want to go away and hide

Cause I can't stand this pain

My heart is so numb

My blood is so cold

And I'm bleeding so much hate

I want to break free

Cause I'm so sick of this sh*t

So sick of this life

Come on

Look at me straight in the face

Or go behind my back

I don't care

Go ahead

Throw it in my face

Say I'm a bad one

Say I'm a f**k up

Say I'm pathetic

It's true

I know

So shut up

My life's so hard

You think you know

But you don't

You have no f**king idea

What the hell I go through

so shut up

Cause I've had it up to here

I can't take it anymore

I'm on my last thread

Yeah, my head's f**ked up inside

It's true

I know

So shut up

Cause I've had it up to here

I can't take it anymore

I'm on my last thread

So shut up

-JB

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I have read poems with this feel to them before. This is as emotional and as readable as any. It is what I term "the unanswerable angst of youth." Most of us have suffered through this at some point if beyond, say, 22 years old. I feel this poem would be more effective for the soul of the poet and affective to the reader, if you could get specific with your problems and poetically describe the reasons for the pain, not the results thereof. A nonspecific rant is like a small child crying; we feel badly the crying started and want to aid in alleviating what hurts. We must know the exact problem in order to help. Without this information we just want to get away from the noise.

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