pete38890 Posted February 28, 2005 Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 the birds had their way with you. now the sea takes you home.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhul Posted February 28, 2005 Report Share Posted February 28, 2005 Too short. But it's good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted March 1, 2005 Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 Is that it? Maybe you should use that to create an actual writing piece rather than just a philosophical saying. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Posted March 1, 2005 Report Share Posted March 1, 2005 I'm saying the same as Aaron, is that it? From what I've read you write really good thought provoking stuff, do it with this Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrampledUnderFoot Posted March 2, 2005 Report Share Posted March 2, 2005 Those 2 sentences (or whatever they are) could be made into something really good. Add more to that! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt_Acid Posted March 2, 2005 Report Share Posted March 2, 2005 I think it's perfect the way it is. Adding anything to it would take away from its beauty. I picture it as an instrumental, and that line somewhere in the middle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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