marko90 Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 Well, this is my newest peice, I would appreciate it if I could get some comments on it...thank you muchly... DREAMING [Verse 1] Since you left, I cannot move on I lay here, I cry from dusk till dawn I try everyday, Try to understand this You come around, wanting to talk Why cant you see, there is nothing to talk about {Chorus} Dreaming is what gets me by, dreaming you never left Tonight doesn?t feel right, I need to hold you tight Without you I fear, I fear what I?ll become Sitting alone, I wonder if you miss me Alone I wonder, if we?ll ever be together again [Verse 2] Monday has come, I still morn this Nothing seems to change, you haven?t come back I close my eyes, wishing you?ll appear You never seem to be here, tonight I break into tears You?ve placed me away from you, SO I guess I?ll never see {Chorus} Dreaming is what gets me by, dreaming you never left Tonight doesn?t feel right, I need to hold you tight Without you I fear, I fear what I?ll become Sitting alone, I wonder if you miss me Alone I wonder, if we?ll ever be together again [Verse 3] Maybe someday, you can see me walk again Right now nothing is fine, I really do need you I lost that chance, I don?t know how I lost my chance, I don?t know why I lost this chance, now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 I like it, but it's a little saddening. Kind of depressing, but the wording is done well. Although you may want to revise this line: "Monday has come, I still morn this" For some reason it just doesn't sound quite right. It seems that your music lately has a very sad theme in mind. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marko90 Posted February 16, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 I will look into changing that. Also it is sad because I have been really down since my Girlfreind left me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 16, 2005 Report Share Posted February 16, 2005 Aah yes, in fact I believe you've mentioned that before. Personal emotion can really bring out the writer in many people. Let your mind flow and your pen go and maybe it will help you get through it easier. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marko90 Posted February 18, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 18, 2005 Alright, I have fixed it up a bit, changed the first line in the second verse. DREAMING [Verse 1] Since you left, I cannot move on I lay here, I cry from dusk till dawn I try everyday, Try to understand this You come around, wanting to talk Why cant you see, there is nothing to talk about {Chorus} Dreaming is what gets me by, dreaming you never left Tonight doesn?t feel right, I need to hold you tight Without you I fear, I fear what I?ll become Sitting alone, I wonder if you miss me Alone I wonder, if we?ll ever be together again [Verse 2] I cry away today, I guess I?ll cry in tomorrow too Nothing seems to change, you haven?t come back I close my eyes, wishing you?ll appear You never seem to be here, tonight I break into tears You?ve placed me away from you, so I guess I?ll never see {Chorus} Dreaming is what gets me by, dreaming you never left Tonight doesn?t feel right, I need to hold you tight Without you I fear, I fear what I?ll become Sitting alone, I wonder if you miss me Alone I wonder, if we?ll ever be together again [Verse 3] Maybe someday, you can see me walk again Right now nothing is fine, I really do need you I lost that chance, I don?t know how I lost my chance, I don?t know why I lost this chance, now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Now I?m dying, and now I?m crying Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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