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Karhul

Backsliding

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This is about my friends Aidan who I havn't seen in a long time because he is lazy and is backsliding (A term for falling away from God, feel free to ask questions about it). Tell me what you think please.

Backsliding

I havn't seen you in a long time

Youv'e seen your job and your bed more than your friends

I miss you alot Aidan

You don'y have much time for anyone anymore

Even your girlfriend

Why are you so lazy?

You don't go to church anymore on Sunday

Or to AWANA on Friday night

I don't think everyone misses you as much

But I do

Your fading away in their minds

But not mine

My last memory of you was on a trampoline

Or at Awana

I can't remember

It was so long ago

Please come back

Not for me

For you

You are backsliding

And you know it

Drink Coffee if that would help

Everyone who goes to church on Sunday has to get up early

So why can't you?

And why not on Friday?

That's not too hard for you

I've had bad times too Aidan

But this, this is just not right

I want to stay your friend

But your drifting away from us all

Please come back Aidan

I miss you

Well, how is it?. :beatnik:

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If this is supposed to sound like a letter written to a friend, then it's a great way to approach the subject and you've definitely made the point clear. But if it's supposed to be a poem, then it lacks structure and flow. Same thing if it's supposed to be a song. But like I said, if it's just a letter or just a thought, then it sounds great.

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If this is supposed to sound like a letter written to a friend, then it's a great way to approach the subject and you've definitely made the point clear. But if it's supposed to be a poem, then it lacks structure and flow. Same thing if it's supposed to be a song. But like I said, if it's just a letter or just a thought, then it sounds great.
Your right, it's a letter to a friend, and it's what I'm thinking. :rockon:

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I like this line especially. It reads quite well as a personal letter to your friend, you should write it out and pass it on to him :)

Thanks for the compliment. If I told him like that he might get offended. I think now that the way it is written is like a poem, but it's not written to rhyme, it's what I feel!!!. :coolio:

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