jute86 Posted February 13, 2005 Report Share Posted February 13, 2005 Hey everyone I don't really post here too much, usually just read through. But I've taken up a bit of songwriting lately and I'm looking for opinions from some 'unbiased' reviewers (not my best friends) I'd appreciate anything you have to say. And no, not all of the songs I've written are this....depressing lol Thanks in advance!! Yellow Tape There?s nothing left here Everything is lost The day killed me slowly And the night is here to finish me off There is no time to think My words are so far gone There?s nothing left to say And nowhere I belong There?s no way I?m gonna see the light So please don?t come by tonight Because the minutes take hours And the hours take days And every time I try to think My thoughts all fade away And you shouldn?t come by Cause you can?t make it right Tomorrow will never get here If I leave all this tonight The clock reads two But I still stay awake The thoughts of sleep They all seem so fake The silence is killing me By morning I?m gone The darkness conceals me Hidden by dawn And all the yellow tape will surround me You?ll tell them this is the way that you found me Because the minutes take hours And the hours take days And every time I try to think My thoughts all fade away And you shouldn?t come by Cause you can?t make it right Tomorrow will never get here If I leave all this tonight Cause I left here tonight So tomorrow wouldn?t come Now the darkness is blinding And my insides feel numb And the yellow tape, it surrounds me You told them this is how you found me ...Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 I liked this poem. I think I know what it's about, but it's still vague enough that anyone can make their own interpretation. Very good, Laura Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 This is about suicide isn't it. Very interesting the way you describe it. I do love the way you are hinting toward the subject matter without actually saying it. You may want to adjust the point where verses reside and the chorus starts though. But, I really like it and it really paints quite a picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
babyduck85 Posted February 14, 2005 Report Share Posted February 14, 2005 It feels like you're reading my exact thoughts on any given night... Quite scary, actually, how similiar our feelings seem to be. It's really nice that you say everything without being blunt. Cuz the word suicide is so harsh. Your poem encompasses all the emotions without making it too obvious. I really like it. You should do more! But I must say I hope you're not feeling like that all the time. You can always PM me if you want to talk. Take care! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TrampledUnderFoot Posted February 17, 2005 Report Share Posted February 17, 2005 This was excellent! I really enjoyed it. Once I started reading it, I could'nt stop. It would make the kind of song I'd probably like job well done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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