scott Posted February 8, 2005 Report Share Posted February 8, 2005 I wrote this when I was supposed to be takin' notes on the Civil War in history, but I've already learned about the civil war a billion times, so this seemed like a better way to spend my time I wrote this a little differently then I've written before, it really focuses on structure and line breaks Run, crawl, limp to get away anything to leave here everything to be free its empty in this place there's nothing over there its plastic way back here our fate sealed the End purchased by no one but ourselves it was bought policy no returns we broke it so we broke it some more supernova our sun ends explosive our demise useless Humanity I really like the 'we broke it, so we broke it, some more' part for some reason.... EDIT- Feedback always welcome from the wonderful s-facts community. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karhul Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 I like it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Scott, you are an amazing writer. The only thing that I can see that doesn't quite fit the flow of the song is the opening line. Otherwise everything flows together quite well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mairi Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Scott, i like the way you choose subjects that are not used very often on these boards for your writing, i really enjoyed that poem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott Posted February 9, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 Yeah, I agree with you ATC, after reading it over, a better opening would be "Exhausted" So I'm goin' with "exhausted" as the first line of 'Fate' Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scott Posted February 10, 2005 Author Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 I've asked this before, but I figure I might as well again. Is there anyway I can pop some home recordings on the net? 'cuz I've got a whole crapload of my stuff recorded (some of it excellent (for example 'Fate' I love the sound that I came up with, it sounds like somethin' outta 'In Utero') to the awful, to the stuff that me and my band worked out (mostly covers)) and would like to post it somewhere (and then y'all can hear it too) Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 10, 2005 Report Share Posted February 10, 2005 Yeah, I agree with you ATC, after reading it over, a better opening would be "Exhausted" So I'm goin' with "exhausted" as the first line of 'Fate' Exhausted would fit perfectly and does a much better fitting the flow of the entire piece. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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