Jump to content

A happy poem


Karhul

Recommended Posts

Constructive criticism? It's a bit cliched. Try spending more time on it and think over better ways to phrase the love you feel for the girl. You'll be a lot prouder of it if you spend lots of time working on it to get it perfect.

:rockon:

It was just something I thought of before I posted it. I'm going to try write some songs about myths and legends, and Isaac Newton :beatnik: :rockon:
Link to comment
Share on other sites

As for this being the 'FIRST HAPPY SONG EVER HERE' thats wrong...there are many here...here are 2 of mine...

LOVE IN YOU

I lay here

Pieces of me everywhere

I lay in wait

In wait of you

You to love me

Glancing at a far

Hoping our eyes will meet

I see your pain

I feel your pain

Do you know I exist?

Or do you even care?

I have placed love in you

Only you shall find it

For I belong to you

There is nothing greater then you

Love is what I longed for,

Love is what I found in you,

You are the only one I love!

Verse 1]

I've walked through the valley of the shadow of death

I've felt the pain of losing everything

I've been pushed towards the gun

I've been down, I've been kicked, I've been hated

{Chorus}

All the pain I've felt,

all the hate I've felt

All the anguish I've felt

campares nothing to the love I have when I hold you tight.

<<>>

[Verse 2]

I hold you in my arms, and I float away, my pain is nothing,

I am in my own world, my love for you overcomming all pain

The only thing that is keeping me from falling apart is you love,

your love is the glue to my heart...

all my life people have been breaking me down, then you come along and nothing seems to hurt anymore

{Chorus}

All the pain I've felt,

all the hate I've felt

All the anguish I've felt

campares nothing to the love I have when I hold you tight.

<<>>

[Verse 3]

All the times people have hated me,

all the times people have played me down,

everytime I fall, I hit hard ground...

now, I hit your love and bounce back to reality.

{Chorus}

All the pain I've felt,

all the hate I've felt

All the anguish I've felt

campares nothing to the love I have when I hold you tight.

this last one may seem grim...but it is telling the person how much I loved them... :guitar:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Please sign in to comment

You will be able to leave a comment after signing in



Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...