pink_bubbles Posted February 5, 2005 Report Share Posted February 5, 2005 Hey please tell me what you think cause i ant to post this poem to someone and i want it to sound perfect... ..::Little Girl::.. Too many dreams shatter to tiny pieces, that you can not find. Too many promises thrown away, and forgotten. All that time you were gone, a little girl waited for your return. You missed birthdays and moments that come only once. Everyone was still waiting for you. Everyone knew what kept you there. But the little girl didn't know. You promised, but you forgot. You placed trust in a little heart, then took it away. You told the truth, but you lied. When you last saw her, she was of only 9, she shall be 16 soon. That has been five years. Five years of broken promises. Five years of lies. Five years of drowned hope. Five years of memories lost. Five years of a childhood. You never saw. While everyone else waits for you, I wont. I am the little girl, you never saw grow. I am the little girl, who lost hope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marko90 Posted February 5, 2005 Report Share Posted February 5, 2005 Well to tell you honestly...GREAT the thing I like about it its filled with emotion and passion, it is strong but not over the top strong, it has the right flow, it has everything that was very well done :guitar: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Foxy Posted February 5, 2005 Report Share Posted February 5, 2005 Good, really good. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Aunt_Acid Posted February 6, 2005 Report Share Posted February 6, 2005 When you last saw her, she was of only 9, she shall be 16 soon. That has been five years. Did she drop out of math class somewhere inbetween there? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Addictedtoclassic Posted February 9, 2005 Report Share Posted February 9, 2005 I guess Chris pointed out the obvious... but maybe stated it should be 6 years. Almost 16 would mean she is 15, and from 9 to 15 would be 6 years... This sounds like a daughters' cries toward her estranged father. I like the way it keeps with the rhythm of the song and the way it makes you wonder "what happened" for this girl to be so sad. I like the wording, very powerful, and definitely conveys the message that is to be heard. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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