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Mama Peaches' Advice For Young Girls


Tenacious_Peaches

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I have been very worried about the young girls on the boards. I can identify with the pressures of surviving a terrible home life. My father left when I was five, my mother was an alcoholic who could barely take care of herself, much less me. We lived with whoever her boyfriend was at the time, and none of them were thrilled about having to put up with me. Most of the time I had to take care of my mother, instead of the other way around. Other various and sundry things happened to me during these dark years that I will not go into, but eventually my mother dried out, got remarried, and got our lives together. I carried a lot of anger and resentment for a long time, especially at my mother, but pretty much at the world in general.

But here is the part that I want to stress to all of you sweet young girls. The most important part of this story is twofold. One, you have to be determined to survive your circumstance. Other people, be it your parents, teachers, or peers, may have physical power over you, but you can never let anyone ever have power over your being. Second, how you choose to deal with your circumstances will determine the quality of your life later on. I can't tell you how many times I have heard about young girls who sleep around, have babies with different men, get caught up with the wrong crowd, fall into drugs, etc. The excuse for much of this behavior is "she had a bad childhood." That is unacceptable. I know first hand that you don't have to fall into that trap. I'm not saying I didn't go through a rough patch, because I did. I was engaged to a guy that emotionally abused me. Looking back, I can't believe I put up with him, but at the time I probably thought I didn't deserve any better. I had some sort of epiphany where I realized that I had to take control of my life. When I met my husband, I had to stop myself from unconsciously pushing him away. If you can figure out why you are doing things, you can figure out how to stop them. Deciding to have a child was a hard decision for me, because I knew that I had to give my child everything and every opportunity I never had. Having my daughter is the most important job I have ever had and I am determined to make sure that she has the loving, nurturing and emotionally stable childhood I never had. I have worked hard to break the cycle that my family has dealt with for years.

If I can survive and come out relatively sane, you can too. Don't ever feel like you are alone or that nobody has ever gone through what you have. You have to be strong. You have to find someone to talk to that can help you through this. A friend, a counselor, even someone here. Don't give up...you are worth fighting for.

I'm sorry this is so long, but I have honestly been so worried about what I have been reading. Girls, I will end this with a great saying...

The happiest of people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.

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Good post, full of lots of good advice.

My childhood wasn't the best, and I have never seen that as an excuse to go off the rails etc. I can see how it effects young people, but as long as you're compus mentus (sp?) you are able to tell the difference between right and wrong and able to take responsibility for your actions.

I appreciate everything my Mum has done for me and my brother. From the age of 16, I have been old enough to make my own decisions, take responsibility for them, and sort out my own life. Everything I do is weighed up with pros and cons, and I then decide, whether or not it's a good overall decision, it was right for me at the time.

I've done many things I am not proud of, but these experiences that other people may think of as wrong, or mistakes, has shaped the person I am today, and I'm not that unhappy with myself. One of the biggest mistakes people make is dwelling on what other people think of them ~ you cannot live like that. I listen to peoples comments as long as they are constructive and not just destructive. The destructive comments are worth nothing.

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I have to bow to Peaches. To start out in life like she did and come out such a sweet, funny, positive, wise and loving person is something to be commended for. :bow:

I had a happy childhood and am lucky to have a great family to lean on, but all of you who don't, listen to the people here who want to help you. That's the great thing about Songfacts...there is always someone who cares.

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Even though Peaches already knows how much I love her, after reading your thread and tearing up (yes, you touched upon a few old wounds & experiences that I too recognize from my childhood) all I can say is ":bow:". You are truly the greatest Madam Peaches!

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