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Mairi

Ummm, please dont laugh, im only small....

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Yeh, im fairly new(ok, i just joined yesterday but whatever) and im only 14 so consider my age while you read this and please, no rotten fruit throwing!

(its a poem)

Broken

Bottled up

Anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, lonliness

Ouside seemingly

Happy, odd, carefree

not me at all

I lie here, drowning in self-loathe

asphixiated by higher power

gasping in my namesake.

Was it fate or something i decided?

A sea of bitterness, artificial?

Natural?

Perhaps outer sources

Aliens to my thoughts, destruct but create

power turns to greed and greed to

Mutilation

fraying of edges,cluttered emotions

screaming, screaming

barely a whisper, notifyed and registered as

Nothingness

So i stay here

drowning my sorrows in words and punctuation

lines upon lines of meaningless wanderings

of a broken mind.

(it may sound very morbid and scary but it was a dark time for me)

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Well for starters WELCOME TO SONG FACTS!!! good to have another Writter!!! :D Now, you Poem was very deep and very metephorical, and for that I am Envious, I wish I could be metephorical in my lyrics too, but I am not, your writing is VERY well done, Metephorical, and yet easy to understand, GOOD JOB!!!

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thank you very much ::, i was a bit wary in case people would laugh or something. just in case yo were wondering, it was about my low self-esteem but i think that's pretty clear lol. there's a part in it that says "ea of bitterness". i added this in because my name is gaelic for mary which means sea of bitterness, just some facts for ya, hope it didnt spoil the poem!

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Well done Marz!

I really liked it, really well written, you should be extremely proud!

I particulary likes these lines..

So i stay here

drowning my sorrows in words and punctuation

lines upon lines of meaningless wanderings

of a broken mind.

..Really good stuff, fair play :thumbsup:

Have a bannana

:happybanana:

:happybanana: :happybanana: :happybanana:

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Mairi, first of all, don't ever apologize before you post your work. It's your own creation, be proud of it. If someone finds it not to their liking, that's their problem, not yours.

Secondly, I enjoyed it.

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and well done mairi btw, for someone of your age that's very good work (i don't mean that patronisingly i hope you understand. i wrote lots of similar stuff when i was the same age... oh so long ago! :laughing: )

also, i don't know how you don't like your name?! i thnk it's gorgeous, my gran's name is maire, the irish version. how do you pronounce yours?

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hey, try having a german name like gisela in ireland!! no one ever gets it right. one of my lecturers has been pronouncing it wrong for three years! and that's enough without all the nazi jokes i got growing up!

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urgh, people who crack the same jokes over and over again are just ignoramuses(i dont know how to spell therefore i am an ignoramus) like the ever so funny "mairi who you gonna marry?" or "mairi will you marry me" its put me off marriage all together (almost). there was one time when i laughed at one but it was becasue it was so crap "Mairi Christmas" :happybanana:

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