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PSYCHOcatholic

When did you know....L-O-V-E

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The most amusing, and perhaps the most peculiar thing of all, is that I could probably, at the very time I was writing the first message, preempt (is that really how you spell it? I'm as shocked as anyone!) any and all questions which were going to be thrust my way given any response I made.

matt, i'm confused, this love, was it amorous?

I hope you don't mind that my reply will probably seem as equally hazy as ignorant, given the fact that this was up to thirteen years ago. Thirteen years between which I have been five years old and eighteen years old, the two ages I've grown up in rather scarier ways than at the time I ever thought were possible.

The second thing to mention is that, when I was five years old, I certainly did not know the true meaning of the word "amorous", and therefore this would have probably not been amorous love. I believe I can only answer with the strength of my limited wisdom and knowledge at that time.

What kind of things was my knowledge saying at the age of five? Perhaps ironically, possibly more than an equally fertile brain such as the one I have now would be letting me. A clear explanation for this is to say that with more knowledge, comes less necessity to think about these things and less of a reason to wish to overload what is already there simply because you wish to build over the foundations of what's already there. Anything beyond, in my mind, has to be truly worth estimation, definition, and purpose.

As a three-year-old, a four-year-old, a five-year-old, what went through my mind? Mostly my own thoughts about how things would be five, ten seconds from now. Things which would be happening now never crossed my mind.

My main problem in my early years was one of trust. It has become that way recently, as well. Everyone's been through a stage where their mind, their heart, has only felt strong enough to let the thoughts, the feelings, of one other person in. The people who I should have been able to trust, close relatives, family, became to me an enigma. Something which would be so hard for me to understand without explanation. I found the people I was able to trust were people who, if life hadn't have turned one way or another so many times, I would never have met for as long as I lived, because they were so far away from anywhere except this single place I knew them from.

Kina was the first real person in whom I found this trust. Fine, I'll concede that the ten-and-a-half year difference between us was a strange one, but so were the circumstances at the time, and as such, I think I should be allowed them. Besides of which, at the time I knew nothing else. I was happy enough to know that I was recognizing the same person, at the same time, for as long as mattered to me at that moment.

I don't think any love at that age, particularly knowing my mindset at the time, could possibly have been anything particularly passionate, simply because, even though love (read "passion" if you wish) was retrospectively occurring, I didn't know what it was at the time. Having been invariably dependant on others ever since I was born, I thought this was just a different kind of dependancy, a different way, and most simply, a different person to be with, with no concern as to who was more "dependant" than the other, whereas, obviously now I am fully aware that that person was me. In that same sense, perhaps I'm attempting to imply that it wasn't some kind of twisted dependancy, but in fact it was some kind of infatuous will.

Blah. I don't know what the proper conclusion to this would be. Yes. Or no. Either one would do. My thoughts are certainly not complete, by any means.

Love and mercy

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Thx Earth-Angel. This place is amazing.

I am currently writing a whole book about English songs... in Chinese, of course.

Songfacts are helpful :bow:

Is "Too Young" a song? I heard my father played something like "we are not too young at all..."

Paul Anka wrote Diana when he was 14 =:P or mebbe 15 :guitar:

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Welcome, DejaBleu! this site is the best ever! Wait and see...

Jill is right, you can´t have sex at 4... I mean, complete sex... the thread says "LOVE" and not "SEX"...

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I'll have sex no matter what time it is.

As long as I'm not worn out from inflating her.

Holy s--t, that's the funniest thing I read today.

In my opinion, how do you really know what love is when you're at such a young age? You need to experience different forms of love before you can really tell what is real and what is only on the surface.

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Holy s--t, that's the funniest thing I read today.

In my opinion, how do you really know what love is when you're at such a young age? You need to experience different forms of love before you can really tell what is real and what is only on the surface.

I agree with you, addict...

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my theory on emotions has always been that they are relative. each person has their own individual scope of emotions, developed throughout their lives through their experiences and personal only to them. i have always used this theory in relation to suffering but i think it applies to all strong emotions.

for example, while one person may have experienced something truly dreadful in the grand scheme of things, for another person the loss of a grandparent may be the most devastating experience they have had and they suffer just as acutely. which is why if friends of mine who are having a hard time say to me 'oh but you've gone through much worse than this' i never agree, because to me suffering is relative. what they go through is equally difficult for them as what i have gone through has been for me.

the same goes for love, i believe. for a young person experiencing love for the first time, it will be the strongest such feeling they have had and so for them it is love. they may remain in love with this person and the love may grow, or they may move on and feel something different perhaps stronger for someone else. that does not undermine the love that has gone before. i think it's very easy for someone who is older and has been through more relationships to dismiss young love as childish, transient, unimportant. but to the person who is overcome with those feelings, it is the most important thing they have ever felt.

there's my tuppence worth!

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Gisela, that's kind of what I said, but you just took the time to explain it better. You're ten cents seems to be much more valuable than my two cents. But that's basically what I was getting at. You have to experience a lot of different forms of love until you really know what it is you're feeling.

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As soon as someone reaches the point where his/her mental capacity can define "faling in love" and can diffrentiate between "falling in love" and a *crush or infatuation then that person is old enough to fall.

Some people reach that level very young. Some never attain that level.

* Crushes can be a great primer to falling. Enjoy them if you're young/innocent enough to have them.

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I still love all those I loved in my life, even if they disappeared, or even if we ended in bad terms. It´s like in the Beatles song, "In my life".

I cannot say I still love them, I just take the past as a part of myself, forgive and just let it be there.

I think you can never 'forget' someone you really loved, we broke up not because that we wanted to forget, we just wouldn't pray for the future anymore.

And young people here (in China) tend to seperate love from marriage. Marriage is one thing, love, quite another.

Maybe it's too practical...

This is also what bothers me a lot these days.

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i dunno addict... that's not quite what i was saying. i don't think you have to experience different types of love and have lots of different relationships just to know what you have is love. i think you can be in a relationship with someone as long as it works for you and as long as you have *that* feeling, whether it be your first or fifty-first relationship. i just think anyone can tell another person what they're feeling is or isn't love. like any other emotion, love is entirely subjective.

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UncleJ, you can have a crush on your professor, for instance... or imagine you´re super-in-love with some rock star, or love deeply someone even if you won´t get him/her... a kind of romantic passion. But you can also have a crush on someone who becomes your husband/wife...

Best wishes

David H. Feldman

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A crush to me, is that feeling of little butterflies when you hear their name, or when you see them - a little rush of nervous excitement. Even if you are happily in a relationship you can have a crush on someone. It's realising that it is just that that seperates it from love. Crushes will normally pass, love remains. But I agree, you can fall in love with someone you have a crush on, it's how most relationships start out :)

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A crush to me, is that feeling of little butterflies when you hear their name, or when you see them - a little rush of nervous excitement. Even if you are happily in a relationship you can have a crush on someone. It's realising that it is just that that seperates it from love. Crushes will normally pass, love remains. But I agree, you can fall in love with someone you have a crush on, it's how most relationships start out :)

In that case, I agree.

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I always seem to fall in love as soon as I get my pants off... uh, no wait, uh, nevermind.

I'm bad with love myself. Had a couple that I thought was love but turned out to be something else, still not sure what it was. Love is so confusing. Lucky in love I am not. Lucky in life I may be though, just can't seem to find that right relationship. In fact, my relationships have pretty much sucked. I always end up with a broken heart, an empty wallet, unwanted pictures, bad memories, and more crap to move out of my apartment then when I first moved in. But love and learn and get on with life, that's what I say. The best thing you can take away from a broken heart is the knowledge of what you are looking for next time around. You have to fail in order to succeed.

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Pink Monkey:

These components in different combinations create the following types of love:

Infatuation ? passion alone.

Liking ? Intimacy alone; friendships without passion or long-term commitment.

Empty Love ? Commitment alone; decision to love another without intimacy or passion

Fatuous Love ? Passion and commitment; commitment based on passion but without time for intimacy to develop such as a whirlwind courtship

Romantic Love ? Intimacy and passion; lovers are physically and emotionally attracted to each other but are not committed as in a summer romance.

Companionate Love ? Intimacy and commitment; as in a long-term marriage in which the passion has faded.

Consummate Love ? Intimacy, passion and commitment; a complete love consisting of all three components. This is the ideal and the hardest to attain.

When you say "I?m in love!" after the first date or having known the person for just two days, it?s probably not true love but infatuation. Infatuation feels very much like love at first: You are strongly attracted to the person physically and emotionally; and everything about that person is very exciting. However, when the excitement wears off, you will realize that you hardly know anything about the other person.

It?s only when you find out what you like and don?t like about the other person and you still deeply care, respect and want to spend time with that person despite of his or her shortcomings, then you are truly in love.

True love is altogether different in character from love which is awakened by impulse and suddenly dies when severely tested. True love is not a strong, fiery, impetuous passion. On the contrary, it is calm and deep in its nature. It looks beyond mere externals and is attracted by qualities alone. It is wise and discriminating, and its devotion is real and abiding.

Two people become acquainted; they are infatuated with each other, and their whole attention is absorbed. Reason is blinded, and judgement is overthrown. They will not listen to any advice or control, but insist on having their own way, regardless of consequence. Like some epidemic, or contagion that must run its course, the infatuation possesses them; and there seems to be no putting a stop to it.

Actually, infatuation and chemistry are essentially the same thing. And they are a very, very long way from real love.

Infatuation has an element of sexual excitement. If you are honest, you can admit it is difficult to be in one another's company unless you are sure it will end - in intimacy.

Love means trust. You are calm, secure and unthreatened. Your partner feels this also, and that makes them even more trustworthy.

Infatuation might lead you to do things you will regret later, but love never will.

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I'm bad with love myself. Had a couple that I thought was love but turned out to be something else, still not sure what it was. Love is so confusing. Lucky in love I am not. Lucky in life I may be though, just can't seem to find that right relationship. In fact, my relationships have pretty much sucked. I always end up with a broken heart, an empty wallet, unwanted pictures, bad memories, and more crap to move out of my apartment then when I first moved in. But love and learn and get on with life, that's what I say. The best thing you can take away from a broken heart is the knowledge of what you are looking for next time around. You have to fail in order to succeed.

What ever happened to this guy?

This is easy (that's the name of a Marshall Crenshaw compilation album): I've been in love before (and that's an A-Ha song, I think). A more telling, albeit more personal, question would be, has anyone ever been in love with you? :beatnik:

Musical interlude:

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