J Hill Posted May 28, 2011 Report Share Posted May 28, 2011 (edited) this poem was inspired by a short story by Etgar Keret......and a little by V. Woolf I used to have a magic fish, I even named it Linnie. It didn't have a last name though, 'cuz that would just be silly. I kept it in a pickle jar; we talked while I did dishes. I used to have a magic fish, It really had three wishes. Don't you ride a bike, that has a broken sprocket, and don't ever go swimming with rocks in all your pockets. Never dine on bitterness, even when it tastes delicious. Further, never tell an inside joke, when on an outdoor phone. And don't go asking for all your wishes, you could end up alone. @2011 JDH *the edit* "You shouldn't dine on bitterness, even if it tastes delicous.... And, don't go ending up all alone, with nothing but three wishes." Edited May 31, 2011 by Guest few words Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jenny Posted June 1, 2011 Report Share Posted June 1, 2011 I like it, J, especially after the edits. As silly as the rhymes are, they are profound. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Uncle Joe Posted June 2, 2011 Report Share Posted June 2, 2011 I like it too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shawna Posted June 8, 2011 Report Share Posted June 8, 2011 Don't you ride a bike, that has a broken sprocket, and don't ever go swimming with rocks in all your pockets This is the stanza(?) that throws it off for me. The cadence is perfect until this, and then it goes off course. I do like it, it's whimsical, it's fun, and it has a message. I just wish that cadence creature didn't get in my way! Well done, though, I like it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted June 10, 2011 Report Share Posted June 10, 2011 I think you've emitted "roes" of knowledge, J Hill! Hopefully, they'll spawn. I mean...who doesn't desire something taboo or the thing everyone talks about yet seldom does? I'm a button-hole finder. There is something for everyone....lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Steel2Velvet Posted June 16, 2011 Report Share Posted June 16, 2011 Very effective, J. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MuzikTyme Posted July 2, 2011 Report Share Posted July 2, 2011 Effective is what I meant. S2V is a master of words and I think you're the same regarding your writing skills, J Hill. ...and... One more thing; If you wish for a fish And it doesn't come true Then get off yer arse Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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