Steel2Velvet Posted February 2, 2011 Report Posted February 2, 2011 African country set to make breaking wind a crime By Colin Fernandez The government of Malawi plans to pass a law punishing persistent offenders "who foul the air," in a bid to "mould responsible and disciplined citizens." But locals fear that pinning responsibility on the crime will be difficult - and may lead to miscarriages of justice as 'criminals' attempt to blame others for their offence. One Malawian told the website Africanews.com: "My goodness! What happens in a public place where a group is gathered? Do they lock up half a minibus? And how about at meetings where it is difficult to pinpoint 'culprits'? Children will openly deny having passed bad air and point at an elder. Culturally, this is very embarrassing," she said. Another said: "We have serious issues affecting Malawians today. I do not know how fouling the air should take priority over regulating Chinese investments which do not employ locals, serious graft amongst legislators, especially those in the ruling party, and many more instances of real crimes." The crime will be enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes in the bill set to be debated in the country's parliament. These include insulting the modesty of a woman, challenging to fight a duel, and trespassing on a burial place. It also outlaws pretending to be a fortune teller, according to local press in the country. Opposition leaders complain the new courts will be 'kangaroo courts'. What's the line? "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!"
Tenacious_Peaches Posted February 2, 2011 Report Posted February 2, 2011 They'd bury Mr. Peaches under the prison.
Ombre Vivante Posted February 2, 2011 Report Posted February 2, 2011 If I blame a chick for farting, then would I be punished for "insulting her modesty"?
RonJonSurfer Posted February 4, 2011 Report Posted February 4, 2011 I FART ON THEIR RULES! HAH! It'll be the gas chamber for you pal.
MindCrime Posted February 4, 2011 Report Posted February 4, 2011 It'll be the gas chamber for you pal. They could just stick him in an airtight closet and let him work his own death.
Steel2Velvet Posted February 4, 2011 Author Report Posted February 4, 2011 ...enforceable in a new 'Local Court' system which will also have powers to punish a range of other crimes ... These include ... pretending to be a fortune teller. I could have told you this law was coming.
miamisammy29 Posted February 4, 2011 Report Posted February 4, 2011 I could have told you this law was coming. I KNEW you were gonna say that!
Steel2Velvet Posted February 5, 2011 Author Report Posted February 5, 2011 I KNEW you were gonna say that! I knew you knew.
MuzikTyme Posted February 5, 2011 Report Posted February 5, 2011 Sounds slightly similar to an old Irish sheep-herder's song. . . (sang in the tune of Neil Diamond's I am, I said ) I knew you knew About the ewe She never meant As much as you . . .
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