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My Dad's Gone Crazy


Ken
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(With apologies to Mr. Mathers)

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[intro:]

[Tuning TV]

[Eminem Snortin Crack]

[TV Presenter:]

Hello boys and girls

Today we're gonna talk about father and daughter relationships

Do you have a daddy?

I'll bet you do

[Door opens]

who's your daddy?

[Hailie:]

Daddy, what're you doing?

[beat starts]

[Eminem:]

Haha

[Eminem & Hailie:]

Ok then! everybody, listen up!

[Eminem:]

I'm goin to Hell, who's comin' with me?

[Hailie:]

Somebody, please help him!

[giggle]

i think my dad gone crazy!

There's no mountain I can't climb

There's no tower too high,

No plane that i can't learn how to fly

What do I gotta do to get through to you, to show you

There ain't nothing i can't take this chainsaw to

[Hailie Makes Chainsaw Sound]

*****n' brain's brawn, and brass balls

I cut 'em off, i got 'em pickled and bronzed in a glass jar

Inside of a hall, with my framed autographed,

Sunglasses with Elton John's name, on my drag wall

I'm out the closet, I been lying my a** off

All this time, me and Dre been *****n' with hats off

[Dr Dre:]

***k it Marshall

[Eminem:]

So tell Laura and her husband to back off

Before i push this ***********n' button and blast off

And launch one of these Russians, and that's all

[Hailie Makes Explosion Sound]

Blow every *****n' thing, except Afghanistan on the map, off

When will it stop? When will I knock the crap off?

[Knocking]

Hailie, tell 'em baby

[Hailie:]

My dad's lost it

[

[Eminem:]

There's really nothin' else to say I, I can't explain it

[Hailie:]

I think my dad gone crazy!

[Eminem:]

A little help from Hailie Jade won't you tell em' baby

[Hailie:]

I think my dad gone crazy!

[Eminem:]

Theres nothin' you could do or say that could ever change me

[Hailie:]

I think my dad gone crazy!

[Eminem:]

There's no one on earth that can save me, not even Hailie

[Hailie:]

I think my dad gone crazy!

It's like my mother always told me

[Eminem Impersinates His Mom]

Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana Rana,

and codeine and god******, you little ***********r

If you aint got nothin' nice to say then don't say nothin'

uh..

***k that ***t, bitch, eat a *********n' ***k

Chew on a *****k, and lick a million ******** ****** per second

I'd rather put out a ************g gospel record

I'd rather be a ****y-whipped ****h, eat *****y

And have ****y-**** glued to my face with a ****-ring in my nose

Then quit bringin my flows, quit giving me my ammo

Can't you see why I'm so mean? if y'all leave me alone, this wouldn't be my

m.o.

I wouldn't have to go eenie meenie minie mo

Catch a **** by his toe, man I don't know no more

Am I the only *****n one who's normal any more?

[Hailie:]

Dad

My songs can make you cry, take you by surprise

And at the same time, make you dry your eyes with the same rhyme

See what you're seeing is a genius at work

Which to me isn't work, so it's easy to misinterpret it at first,

Cuz when i speak, it's tongue in cheek

I'd yank my *****n teeth before I'd ever bite my tongue

I'd slice my gums, get struck by *****n' lightning twice at once

And die and come back as Vanilla Ice's son

And walk around the rest of my life spit on

And kicked and hit with ***t, every time I sung

Like R Kelly as soon as "bump n' grind" comes on

More pain inside of my brain, than the eyes of a little girl inside of a

plane

Aimed at the World Trade, standin' on Ronnie's grave,

Screaming at the sky, till clouds gather as Clyde Mathers and Bonnie Jade

And thats pretty much the gist of it,Parents are pissed, but the kids love

it

Nine millimeter, heater stashed, in two-seaters with meat cleavers

I don't blame you, i wouldn't let Hailie listen to me neither

[Eminem:]

Crazy

[Hailie:]

ha ha

You're funny daddy!

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