Risky Posted May 30, 2009 Report Share Posted May 30, 2009 Can you please give me some feedback on this poem i wrote. thanks I miss your voice it was the most beautiful noise I never thought i'd see you again And it created the most depressing pain After i saw you on that rainy day I felt myself start to break away I miss your smile It radiated such style I still see it in my dreams Where it shines and gleams The happiness while dreaming It leaves my eyes streaming But blissful dreams arent all i get Others are full of death and regret I look back now This tradgedy, how did i allow? I should have seen it coming But the bliss i felt was entirely numbing I guess i just wanted to say That even though im far away If you close your eyes You may find a surprise Im waiting for you up the stream In a golden dream But as you awake You see that only one could partake Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
berjo1429030949 Posted October 8, 2009 Report Share Posted October 8, 2009 My hand is up for being guilty as charged in response by noting, thinking, contemplating, conjecturing (pensive) and spilling most thoughts on paper. A normal trait that we all love to believe that the other (and/or readers like myself) could also sense and feel the mood and thoughts from your words. Unfortunately, once that someone decides to move on would barely register any emotion from your intentions. That's not to say he/she isn't compassionate but again normally, when one drifts away/apart keeps it that way instead of continued and unnecessary pain, discomfort and their own set pact that things would not be the same. I used to write a lot in those moments of pain. Perhaps I should dig out some of my old poems and such. Thanks for the read - I've been there many times before. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now