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Waffle House (Parental Advisory, Explicit Content)

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I'm serious, there's an assload of explicit content. If you get offended easily, definitely turn back now. This isn't part of the song, by the way. (but maybe it should be...)

Kelly was a waitress in San Diego

Up every morning makin pancakes n eggos

She would wait on all the customers

She was just a lady who was tryin to get hers.

But the real job came at the end of the shift,

In the back of the kitchen with the manager's d*ck

She would stroke it she would flick it she would stick it in her t*ts

Or else she'd lose her job and couldn't feed her kids.

That's why

She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah)

She's f*ckin the boss (gettin her salad tossed)

C*m in her hair, shame in her soul

Payin the bills is really takin a toll

Kelly kept on searchin for a better job

So she could finally stop polishin her bosses kn*b

But the economy was bad and the wages were low

Kelly couldn't leave; she had no place to go


She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah)

She's f*ckin the boss (her ex-fiance's loss)

A sore neck for a fatter check

Poor little Kelly is becoming a wreck

How long can you live like this, Kelly?

Before you wind up with another baby, in your belly

Oh well, just hurry and grab the KY Jelly

Cause, cause, cause,

She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah)

She's f*ckin the boss (drinkin his DNA sauce)

It's just for the summer, then she'll move to the East,

All she wants to do is get her nursing degree...

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I think it would sound cool with a Morphine -like sound . A bit of jazz/rock chaos that downplays some of the the lyrics from coming out too strongly , and makes it sound like easy listening , though it is as dark as hell . Heavy bass playing repetitive catchy riffs with saxaphone/trumpet blasts and solos .

Nick Cave-ish even would work well , too. :cool: :thumbsup:

This is not a suggestion to rewrite or modify , but I personally like a revenge story . It would be cool if she got him back - with a waffle iron !?


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On the downside, this might end up being a signature songwriting style for you, my man, meaning that possibly no one would desire to hear anything else of yours that could be construed as less outrageous. ("Play that Kelly song again!" "Yeah, listen to this, Ed!")

On the uptake, you will never have to sit in the audience as a nominee during a boring Dove Award program.

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I would probably have thought it was funny at 18, but now I find it completely disrespectful to women. Then again, I won't play 'Ballad Of John & Yoko' or 'Bicycle Race' because they both use 'Christ' and 'Jesus' in the lyrics for no reason at all. And I'm not a religious freak.

Tony - you DO show a flair for writing, but is the shock value needed Mate ?


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The ballad of John and Yoko doesn't use the word Christ for no reason at all, it's Lennon giving an apostrophe to Christ.

"Christ, you know it ain't easy

the way things are goin'

they're gonna crucify me"

Then there's the whole 'We're bigger than Jesus thing' that comes into play to.

As far as Tony's song

is it crude


but it's telling a story

has it been told before

yeah, probably

does it happen in real life?

Most certainly

Since this is an event that occurs in our world, a kind of nasty, disgusting, degrading event, then what better way to put it in perspective than with a nasty song?

And DNA sauce is quite clever.

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Not saying it's not clever Scott, but it's extremely crude. I'd be embarrassed to have that played in front of ladies. Be OK for a buck's night maybe.

I don't like songwriters or so called comedians who just rely on smut for shock value or laughs. And John Lennon - likening himself to Christ being crucified because the U.S. was going to revoke his visa ? Puhleez !

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The Ballad of John and Yoko was actually written quite a while before the whole deportation debacle.

The Ballad of John and Yoko was actually written about the media spectacle that became John and Yoko's marriage and honeymoon.

Lennon believed that media and friends were trying to keep him from the (tho I'm sure some of you still don't wanna hear it) woman he loved.

I believe that being torn from your love is a pretty crucifixion worthy comparison.

Oh, and did you hear the one about the hotdogs at the church picnic?

They served them with all the crucifixins.

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