Tony Baloni Posted September 9, 2008 Report Posted September 9, 2008 (edited) I'm serious, there's an assload of explicit content. If you get offended easily, definitely turn back now. This isn't part of the song, by the way. (but maybe it should be...) Kelly was a waitress in San Diego Up every morning makin pancakes n eggos She would wait on all the customers She was just a lady who was tryin to get hers. But the real job came at the end of the shift, In the back of the kitchen with the manager's d*ck She would stroke it she would flick it she would stick it in her t*ts Or else she'd lose her job and couldn't feed her kids. That's why She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah) She's f*ckin the boss (gettin her salad tossed) C*m in her hair, shame in her soul Payin the bills is really takin a toll Kelly kept on searchin for a better job So she could finally stop polishin her bosses kn*b But the economy was bad and the wages were low Kelly couldn't leave; she had no place to go so, She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah) She's f*ckin the boss (her ex-fiance's loss) A sore neck for a fatter check Poor little Kelly is becoming a wreck How long can you live like this, Kelly? Before you wind up with another baby, in your belly Oh well, just hurry and grab the KY Jelly Cause, cause, cause, She's f*ckin the boss (oh yeah) She's f*ckin the boss (drinkin his DNA sauce) It's just for the summer, then she'll move to the East, All she wants to do is get her nursing degree... Edited September 9, 2008 by Guest edited language
scott Posted September 9, 2008 Report Posted September 9, 2008 HAHAHAHAhA DNA sauce While funny, and deliciously offensive, all I could do was sing it to the tune of Sublime's 'Wrong Way' (or 'date rape'.... or any sublime song ) well, that's certainly worth a banhammer
Lucky Posted September 9, 2008 Report Posted September 9, 2008 (edited) Awww shoot, there goes Waffle House, and that's my favorite breakfast place too! Terribly offensive, but awfully good as well. Edited September 9, 2008 by Guest bad moderator, shouldn't encourage this stuff! :)
Udo Posted September 10, 2008 Report Posted September 10, 2008 Years from now I will be able to say "This was the first song I learned to play on the cowbell!"
edna Posted September 10, 2008 Report Posted September 10, 2008 I find you very underground, Baloni... I like it. I like the "DNA sauce" line too... It needs some music though...
Tony Baloni Posted September 10, 2008 Author Report Posted September 10, 2008 Oh, there is... Just wait till we get it recorded...
Kevin Posted September 10, 2008 Report Posted September 10, 2008 I think it would sound cool with a Morphine -like sound . A bit of jazz/rock chaos that downplays some of the the lyrics from coming out too strongly , and makes it sound like easy listening , though it is as dark as hell . Heavy bass playing repetitive catchy riffs with saxaphone/trumpet blasts and solos . Nick Cave-ish even would work well , too. This is not a suggestion to rewrite or modify , but I personally like a revenge story . It would be cool if she got him back - with a waffle iron !?
blind-fitter Posted September 10, 2008 Report Posted September 10, 2008 It would certainly work inna Nick Cave stylee, agreed; but I could just as easily imagine it as some kind of rap number. Good stuff, Mr. Baloni; enjoyed it.
Steel2Velvet Posted September 11, 2008 Report Posted September 11, 2008 On the downside, this might end up being a signature songwriting style for you, my man, meaning that possibly no one would desire to hear anything else of yours that could be construed as less outrageous. ("Play that Kelly song again!" "Yeah, listen to this, Ed!") On the uptake, you will never have to sit in the audience as a nominee during a boring Dove Award program.
Tony Baloni Posted September 12, 2008 Author Report Posted September 12, 2008 You know, after I wrote this, I had that exact same thought. We played this song at a bar last night.
Steel2Velvet Posted September 12, 2008 Report Posted September 12, 2008 You may never be asked to play it in a waffle house.
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 Sorry Mate, but I reckon any lyricist who has to use foul or blasphemous language is just not up to it. If you have a day job, don't give it up.
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 I would probably have thought it was funny at 18, but now I find it completely disrespectful to women. Then again, I won't play 'Ballad Of John & Yoko' or 'Bicycle Race' because they both use 'Christ' and 'Jesus' in the lyrics for no reason at all. And I'm not a religious freak. Tony - you DO show a flair for writing, but is the shock value needed Mate ?
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 But is that really you ? Or are you 'prostituting' yourself just to get noticed.
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 Have your Mom, any sisters, heard it ?
Tony Baloni Posted September 13, 2008 Author Report Posted September 13, 2008 Yes. She didn't like it.
scott Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 The ballad of John and Yoko doesn't use the word Christ for no reason at all, it's Lennon giving an apostrophe to Christ. "Christ, you know it ain't easy the way things are goin' they're gonna crucify me" Then there's the whole 'We're bigger than Jesus thing' that comes into play to. As far as Tony's song is it crude yes but it's telling a story has it been told before yeah, probably does it happen in real life? Most certainly Since this is an event that occurs in our world, a kind of nasty, disgusting, degrading event, then what better way to put it in perspective than with a nasty song? And DNA sauce is quite clever.
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 Ah a young man who shares things with his Mom ! I don't think you're as 'bad' as have us believe.
Tony Baloni Posted September 13, 2008 Author Report Posted September 13, 2008 I'm not. As a matter of fact, right now, I'm wearing my Sunday best and listening to John Tesch while knitting my grandmother a sweater. And practicing my elecution.
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 Not saying it's not clever Scott, but it's extremely crude. I'd be embarrassed to have that played in front of ladies. Be OK for a buck's night maybe. I don't like songwriters or so called comedians who just rely on smut for shock value or laughs. And John Lennon - likening himself to Christ being crucified because the U.S. was going to revoke his visa ? Puhleez !
OLD 55 Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 Elocution. Put your knitting away and write me a nice ballad. I have to go and get ready for Church now.
scott Posted September 13, 2008 Report Posted September 13, 2008 The Ballad of John and Yoko was actually written quite a while before the whole deportation debacle. The Ballad of John and Yoko was actually written about the media spectacle that became John and Yoko's marriage and honeymoon. Lennon believed that media and friends were trying to keep him from the (tho I'm sure some of you still don't wanna hear it) woman he loved. I believe that being torn from your love is a pretty crucifixion worthy comparison. Oh, and did you hear the one about the hotdogs at the church picnic? They served them with all the crucifixins.
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