Blue Fish Posted September 4, 2008 Report Share Posted September 4, 2008 I hold the memory of us in my hand and drift away to a distant land Candy trees and sherbet sand As I hold the memory in my hand I close my eyes and drift away to a better happier day A day when I could laugh away The demons of this darker day I drift away in a sea of dreams where nothing is quite as it seems Purple dragons, childhood dreams Nothing quite as it seems I embrace the strange new sights flying candy Christmas lights It's okay these child like sights Fireworks explode in bright white light In my head things are strange reality is not in range where everything is fine yet, strange Gumballs on the firing range I wish I could understand Take you to this distant land where I live each day now understand Don't be scared of me in my strange land. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
_Laurie_ Posted September 5, 2008 Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 This has a very nice flow to it...I like it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Udo Posted September 5, 2008 Report Share Posted September 5, 2008 Me too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted September 6, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 Thanks for the comments guys!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lucky Posted September 6, 2008 Report Share Posted September 6, 2008 I like the imagrey as well as the flow Bloof. Candy trees and sherbet sand .... Paints a great picture. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kevin Posted September 8, 2008 Report Share Posted September 8, 2008 Wow ! :guitar: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Viaene Posted September 8, 2008 Report Share Posted September 8, 2008 one of your best pieces of work, Bloof Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheLizard Posted September 8, 2008 Report Share Posted September 8, 2008 Rhythmically it could use some tweaking, but the diction is fairly solid, albeit repetitive. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Blue Fish Posted September 9, 2008 Author Report Share Posted September 9, 2008 Thanks guys, the last verse needs some work but I'm glad you liked it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Please sign in to comment
You will be able to leave a comment after signing in
Sign In Now