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Funny lyrics


MellonCollie

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Post some funny lyrics that are from bands or songs you really like. My submission is Pink Triangle by Weezer.

When I'm stable long enough

I start to look around for love

See a sweet in floral print

my mind begins the arrangements

but When I start to feel that pull

turns out I just pulled myself

she would never go with me

were I the last girl on earth

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian

I thought I had found the one

we were good as married in my mind

but married in my mind's no good

a Pink Triangle on her sleeve

let me know the truth, let me know the truth

Might have smoked a few in my time

but never thought it was a crime

knew the day would surely come

when I'd chill and settle down

when I think I've found a good old-fashioned girl

then she put me in my place

if everyone's a little queer

can't she be a little straight?

I'm dumb, she's a lesbian

I thought I had found the one

we were good as married in my mind

but married in my mind's no good

a Pink Triangle on her sleeve

let me know the truth, let me know the truth

Great song. :shades:

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Mister, would you please help my pony?

He's over there behind the tree

He's down in the dirt, would ya help him?

I think it's his lung

Mister would you please help my pony?

He's chewin' bark and not the leaves

He's cryin' like a baby, would you help him?

I think it's his lung

Mister, would you please help my pony?

He's down and he ain't gettin' up

He coughed up snot in the driveway

And I think his lung's f#cked up

Pony, Pony, Pony

Mister, would you please help my pony?

I think it's his lung

Mister, would you please help my pony?

He's over there lookin' at me

He can't talk because he's a pony

I think it's his lung

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Haha!!! anything weird al!

like in horoscope

CANCER - The position of jupiter says u should spend the rest of the week face down in the mud! Try not to shove a roll or duct tape up ur nose while taking ur drivers test

LEO - Now is not a good time to photocopy ur butt and staple it to ur boss's face (oh no!) eat a bucket of tuna flavored pudding and wash it down with a gallon of strawberry kwik!

VIRGO - All virgos are extremely friendly and intellegent, except for u! :jester: Expect a big surprise today when u wind u with ur head impaled upon a stick!

thats ur horoscope for today!!!!!!!!...

and albequirque

...i'd never been on a real airplane before and i have to tell ya, it was really great, except that i had to sit between to large Albanian women with excruciatingly sever body odor and the little kid in back of my keep throwing up the whole time, and the flight attendent ran out of dr. pepper and salted peanuts, and oh yeah 3 of the engines burned out and we went into a tailspin and crashed into a hillside and the plane blew up in a giant fireball, and everybody died....execept for me( :thumbsup:) ya know Y? Cuz i had my tray table up, and my seat back in the full upright postition, tray table up....

yeah ya get the point. 11 minutes long that song is...lol..U REALLY should check it out though.. its always good for a laugh! =:P lol ull like it I PROMISE

later :rockon:

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"Girlfriend in a Coma" by The Smiths

Girlfriend in a coma, I know

I know - it?s serious

Girlfriend in a coma, I know

I know - it?s really serious

There were times when I could

Have murdered her

(but you know, I would hate

Anything to happen to her)

No, I don?t want to see her

Do you really think

She?ll pull through ?

Do you really think

She?ll pull through ?

Do ...

Girlfriend in a coma, I know

I know - it?s serious

My, my, my, my, my, my baby, goodbye

There were times when I could

Have strangled her

(but you know, I would hate

Anything to happen to her)

Would you please

Let me see her !

Do you really think

She?ll pull through ?

Do you really think

She?ll pull through ?

Do ...

Let me whisper my last goodbyes

I know - it?s serious

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Not nesesarily funny, but it shows the guy had a higher sense of humor. One of my favorite songs. This is 'Bike' by Pink Floyd, written by Syd Barret:

I've got a bike

You can ride it if you like

It's got a basket

A bell that rings

And things to make it look good

I'd give it to you if I could

But I borrowed it

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world

I'll give you anything

Everything if you want things

I've got a cloak

It's a bit of a joke

There's a tear up the front

It's red and black

I've had it for months

If you think it could look good

Then I guess it should

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world

I'll give you anything

Everything if you want things

I know a mouse

And he hasn't got a house

I don't know why

I call him Gerald

He's getting rather old

But he's a good mouse

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world

I'll give you anything

Everything if you want things

I've got a clan of gingerbread men

Here a man

There a man

Lots of gingerbread men

Take a couple if you wish

They're on the dish

You're the kind of girl that fits in with my world

I'll give you anything

Everything if you want things

I know a room full of musical tunes

Some rhyme

Some ching

Most of them are clockwork

Let's go into the other room and make them work

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Really? I never viewed that song as humorous. I have always thought he was being simple when he wrote that. But I guess that sort of simplicity probably is derived from a sense of humor. It's a great song. Proof to todays youngsters that songs can be about something besides death and sorrow or sex.

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I Lobster But Never Flounder

From: "Pinkard & Bowden Getting' Stupid #2"

Written by: Braddock & Braddock (BMI)

I Lobster But Never Flounder

I was the cook, ----she was the waitress

Down at Salty Sams seafood cafe

Somewhere between the clam juice and the seaweed salad

some little shrimp... lured her away

Oh, I Lobster, n' never Flounder

He wrapped his line around her

and they drove off in his Carp

Oh, I Lobster n' never Flounder

I Octopus his face in,

Eel only break her heart.

I said "just Squid and leave me for that piano Tuna

If you want to Trout something new"

She was the Bass I ever had and my life has no Porpoise

Oh by golly I love her, yes I do

(Speaking):

#1 I swordfish she'd come back to me!

#2 Aw, if she did, she'd just throw ya the same ole' line: "Not

tonight, dear, I have a haddock."

#1 But I've kelpt her picture in my walleye all these years, just for the

halibut. I wonder if she's kept mine in her perch.

#2 Well, we'd better quit sea-horsin' around here-these people look like

they're goin' into a state of shark!

#1 Did you say a state of shark?!

#2 Shore did!

Both Frankly scallop, I don't give a clam!

Oh, I Lobster, n' never Flounder

He wrapped his line around her

and they drove off in his Carp

Oh, I Lobster n' never Flounder

I Octopus his face in,

Eel only break her heart

Eel only break her heart!

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